Cuts, Butts & Coconuts
Posted on Thu Jun 25, 2020 @ 9:56pm by Lieutenant Nicole Anderson & Commander Cullen Walker & Lieutenant AJ Taggart & Senior Chief Petty Officer Samantha Summers
1,977 words; about a 10 minute read
Mission:
The Binary Suns
Location: Sickbay
The transporter beam released the group and Nicole pointed at Halvor. "Don't move," she said, pulling AJ towards a biobed. "Need a bone knitter and check for IFOs!" She shouted to the staff who was gathering around. "Walker, there," she said, pointing to the next bed. She helped AJ onto the biobed and laid him back, squeezing his hand, then stepping away. "Need curtains around two and three!" she said, rushing over to get the others onto beds.
Walker handled curtains and then sat on the bed. He wasn't arguing. He assumed he was being told to get out of the way.
"Calcen! Hypo!" she shouted, putting her hand up, and a loadable hypospray soared across the room, landing in her palm. She crossed to a cabinet and keyed in an entry code, pulling out a vial and loading it into the hypo. She walked back over to Halvor still in the center of the room. "Tongue it is," she said. "Open up."
Halvor knelt down on one knee. He stuck out his tongue like a child and grinned. Then he stuck out his tongue for real. As soon as it happened, he gagged. "That tastes like shit and it hurts." He got up.
"If medicine were meant to taste good, it wouldn't be called medicine," Nicole quipped. She grabbed a tricorder from a passing nurse, scanning him quickly. "Just another simple shore leave," she muttered, scanning him, nodding as the concoction began to work its magic on his system. "All right, try not to dissolve anything and go get yourself a fresh uniform," she said, chucking a thumb at a changing room. You can--"
Walker spoke. "Halvor, go to your quarters and get a uniform on. No one wants to see that."
Halvor left, holding what was left of his uniform over his front; nothing covered the back. He would be back later for supplement shots, but for now, him leaving made room.
Nicole turned to Walker and scowled. "Lie down, don't move, or you're on report." She closed the curtains around his bed.
She walked behind another curtain to check on the nurse with AJ and scanned him quickly. "All right, ribs are healing, nothing vital punctured." She looked at AJ and smiled. "You got lucky."
AJ chuckled as he felt the sting slowly subside. "I think it was a bit more than luck," he said warmly as he attempted to sit up from the biobed. "Otherworldly powers might have had something to do with it."
"The one with the 'otherworldy powers' left the ship," Nicole said, helping him sit up and lean back comfortably. "All I have is a good right hook and a lack if impulse control." She shook her head and sighed. "I'd chew you out for letting a bar fight happen, but I'm going to get my own from Camille when she gets back, I'm sure. She hates it when I get in a brawl."
She patted AJ's hand and leaned down to give him a friendly kiss on the cheek. "Rest up a bit, maybe grab a nap. When you're feeling up to it, you can go to your quarters for a proper rest.
AJ smiled dreamily at her as he blushed. "You got it, Doc." he said, leaning back against the pillow and allowing himself to fall into the first bout of deep sleep that he had had in years.
She came out of AJ's curtained area and stepped into Walker's, grabbing a programmable hypo and scanning him quickly as she injected him. "That should help dull the pain," she said, trying to sound sympathetic and not annoyed.
Walker set his own nose. "Thanks Doc Rachet," he grinned. Blood trickled out for a bit after he set it. "Is it gone?" He listened for the whistle. "I think it is."
Nicole grumbled and grabbed his sore nose, eliciting a grunt of discomfort as she set it properly and scanned him, then repaired the cartilidge and healed the bleeding. "I swear, how you are still in one piece..." she said, scanning the rest of him.
He looked at her. "I beat someone with a sink. It is now off the checklist."
"And I'm healing someone with three out of four testicles bruised," she said. "I can check that off my list." She grabbed another instrument and ran it over him slowly. "So unless you want to be a soprano, hold still."
Walker held still, "I would prefer to remain singing low baritone, thank you." The drugs were kicking in, he had a huge grin on his face, but he chose not to say what popped into his head. He did have self control, very good in general; with painkillers...ehhh. Instead, he hummed Big balls by ACDC.
"I'll see what I can do," she said, listening to his 'tune'. "Although I can only offer some guarantee as to the pitch, not the skill."
She scanned his nether regions slowly, looking at the biobed, then picked up a dermal regenerator and ran it over the area carefully. "No permanent damage, thankfully," she said. "You should be all healed up in a moment." She glanced down at him. "And on an unrelated note? Please do not dismiss people from my Sickbay without my permission. It's a sticky point with me, and I'd rather not have to get into a pissing match over it with you."
Walker looked at her, "Yes Ma'am, I will treat your sickbay with more respect." Technically, she had rank in this room regardless of position on the ship and Starfleet regulation, she could force the issue and relieve people of their rank, temporary or longterm. He didn't want to cross her.
"Thank you," she said, relieved it wasn't going to go further. She had him sit up on the edge of the bed and stood beside him. "That makes this part far less dangerous for you." She reached down and got a good grip. "Cough."
Walker squeaked like a titmouse, took a deep breath to center himself, then coughed. Then he had a blood flow reaction, he focused to make that stop. It wasn't the time or place, "Why did you go old school? Wouldn't a tricorder have sufficed. I don't want a finger up my ass to look for polyps." The doctors in his family told him stories of how it used to be.
"I only do that on Wednesdays," she said, making a note in his record. "'Old School', as humans liked to put it, sufficed for thousands of years before tricorders came along. The intuition of someone in tune with a body is still just as valuable. I'll take a tricorder's readings, but I'll trust my gut any day."
She disengaged the biobed's scanners and smiled at him. "Plus, how often am I going to get to say I had my CO by the balls?"
Walker grinned, "I guess I better leave before you figure out it is Wednesday." He was fucking with her.
"No it's--" she paused and folded her arms. "Out," she said, shooing him towards the door. "I'll follow up with you later. Come see me immediately for any discomfort."
Nicole sighed and went over to the nurse attending to Samantha's jaw. "How are you feeling?" she said, giving her own scan and feeling along the jawline.
" Mmmmpphhh. My jaw feels like it was pulled out and put back in with scotch tape, but otherwise I *think* I'm ok."
The nurse huffed in frustration. "Maybe if you stopped moving and talking for ten seconds," she said.
Summers tried to smile but only produced another groan. She looked back at Nicole. "He likes you, you know." Summers then did a small grin.
"Stop moving, stop talking" Nicole said, grabbing Summers' head and holding her in place so the nurse could complete resetting her jaw. After a moment, she let her go, jaw healed and nodded for the nurse to go back to her duties. "And yes, I'm aware. As it turns out, I'm a rather likable person," she said, dryly.
Summers grinned. " So I've noticed. " She replied with a wink.
She glanced as the doors to sickbay opened as Walker left and saw Halvor sitting in the hall. She repressed a growl of frustration. "You're clear to go," she told Summers.
Summers looked around before getting out of the examining bed, then turned back to Nicole. " Let me know if he's got a 'friend' that available, ohh, and one that doesn't just come up to my ' you know what. ' " Samantha stifled a laugh and walked out of Sick Bay.
Halvor was back and dressed, sitting on the floor outside of Sickbay, across from the door.
Walker left. "You are acknowledged, don't bother getting up. I'm sure when she is done with triage. Enjoy your next set of shots."
There was a look on Halvor's face. Enjoy wasn't how he felt about them.
As Walker left, Nicole stormed out of Sickbay. "What in the hell are you doing?"
Standing up, Halvor looked at her, "I was waiting until Sickbay cleared out some. My current needs are not a priority. On previous ships, CMOs said I take up too much room in this form. I was trying to show respect for you and your Sickbay. I assumed that because I wasn't an emergency, I was on the bottom of the triage list. I apologize if I made the wrong assessment, Ma'am." He wasn't acting in a submissive manner, but like that of a Soldier, which he was before Starfleet.
"Idiot," she said scoldingly, "the reason it's called a 'waiting room' is because that is where you wait." She pointed at the doors to Sickbay. "Inside. Exam room. Now."
Walking inside, "According to my brain scan, in this form, the soft tissue of my brain are as hard as a rock." Halvor grinned, "Rocks for brains."
"If only that were true; it'd be so much quieter," Nicole grumbled under her breath. She led him to one of the exam rooms and pointed at the biobed. "Might as well take some samples before we get you back on your treatment," she sighed. It was going to be a long afternoon.
Nodding Halvor spoke, "I know experimentation on Humanoids is very frowned upon by the federation, but I want to know what kind of energy that weapon uses. Phasers and plasma conduits burn me when I'm human. This turned me. It was odd. It turned me quick and it hurt," he said, closing his eyes. "It hurt a lot, like the first time I turned. It hurt for me to breathe and my heart to beat." He was thinking.
"I'll have Commander Torres take a look at it," Nicole said as she collected her tributes. "I'm curious myself what it uses that would inhibit your treatment." She finished with her pieces and scanned him. "All right, one more hypospray to set you right and you should be back to normal for the next week."
She prepped the hypo, double checked it and pressed it to his neck. "I might suggest forgoing the rest of your shore leave if their technology has this effect on you," she said. "And don't hide outside my Sickbay anymore."
Halvor looked at her, "I'm going to be in the Armory, Range, and Science lab figuring out this weapon. I hope your other half doesn't mind."
"Oh, I've no doubt she'll find it fascinating," Nicole said. "It'll give me an excuse to peek at her notes when she gets home." She scanned him once more. "Go get some rest and you'll be fine to return to duty," she said.
She called a nurse to sign him out and went back to supervise the remaining patients, then decide how she wanted to file this report with the Captain.
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