Cementing Relationships

Posted on Mon Dec 6, 2021 @ 9:38pm by Lieutenant Nicole Anderson & Lieutenant AJ Taggart

1,468 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Archangel
Location: AJ's Quarters

Nicole stood in front of AJs door, took a breath and rang the chime. Her dress was smooth, her hair neat as a pin in a long braid, traditional in her hometown. She just wished she felt as put-together on the inside.

AJ looked up from his desk, his shoulder twinging as he moved his neck too fast. “Enter,” he said without checking the door’s optical sensor. A mistake he had been making all too often lately. Seeing Nicole, he stood hesitantly and walked over to greet her. His uniform jacket was draped over the chair revealing the black shirt underneath.

“Hey,” she said, quietly. She put her hands behind her back and tried to hide her hesitation. “So….something has come up, and I wanted to talk to you about it. Camille and I have received offers to transfer.” She looked up at him and tried to gauge the look in his eyes.

Fighting the urge to wince, AJ steeled himself and gave her a little smile. “Where to, if I’m even allowed to ask?” he inquired, his face curious on the outside. On the inside, he was a storm of emotion- had things really been that bad that both Nicole and Camille had to transfer? On one hand, he knew that this was an eventuality. On the other, officers often stayed on ships for a decade or more depending on their career goals.

Nicole smiled. “Nothing nefarious, I promise. Camille got offered a position at the Daystrom Institute branch on Alpha Centauri. It’s an insanely generous offer, and something she’s always dreamed of for her career. I’m going with her for a while, then I’m returning home to Rigel to head up Starfleet Medical’s hospital in Ancient Grace. Effectively my old position, but I’ll retain my commission this time. It’s...an important move for us. I just couldn’t do it without telling you.”

With a single tear welling up and at a loss for anything else to do, AJ hugged Nicole as tight as he could and moved her so that she was in front of him . “This sucks…” his voice trailed off but he managed to continue. “But I’m so proud of you- and Camille. We couldn’t keep you forever and they’d be idiots not to ask for you.”

Nicole smiled, despite her eyes welling up at his reaction. “Thank you,” she said, hugging him tightly back. “I know it’s not always easy with me here, and I know it’s not easy with me gone, but you’ll be alright.” She pulled back and looked at him, her eyes narrowing. “That’s an order.”

“It just won’t be the same, you know? All of the adventures we’ve had- all of the good times. I’m going to miss it.”

“As will I,” she said. “But, different doesn’t necessarily mean worse. And it means you’re going to have a few adventures without someone who might punch you in the jaw. That’s an upside, right?” She grinned at him and hugged him again. “I just wanted to thank you for everything.”

“For what? Being a royal pain in the ass?” he said jokingly, a smile crossing his face again. “But thank you, Nic. These hallways are going to be quite a bit emptier without you.”

Nicole gave him a sad smile. “That, and for everything you’ve done for me, for the love and care you showed me even when I was being too much of a bitch to deserve it.” She gave him an apologetic look. “I’m just sorry I wasted so much of our time giving you such a hard time.”

“It’s a part of your charm.” AJ said. “But it’s okay, I knew you cared the whole time.” he said

She nodded. “I did. And now, there’s one thing I need from you,” she said, slowly, putting her hands on his chest.

AJ’s blood ran icy cold as he heard Nicole’s tone change.

“I need you to say goodbye,” she said, looking up at him. “I need to know that you can let me go and be all right. Providence knows what mission you’re going to get dragged to next, but even if you stay on the Victory, and I hope you do, I need to know that we got the chance to say it, and to know that you can move on and live your life when the time comes.”

It was rare that AJ was rendered speechless, but this was one of those times. He tried to fight through it but all that happened was that his mouth was opening and closing like a fish as he felt an intense wrenching feeling in his chest as though his heart was being rendered in twain and he felt helpless as a wave of sadness overwhelmed him. There were never going to be any more impromptu drop-ins to sickbay after a long time away, no more late night dinners, or discussions.

“You’re asking a lot,” he said with a strained chuckle. “I just don’t know…” as the sadness washed over him again and he balled his fist in order to keep the tears from flowing and turned away as the tears blurred his vision. Fighting back the tears, he blinked them away and turned back around, his eyes surely bright red.

Nicole could feel her heart breaking. “I know what I’m asking is a lot,” she said, her voice cracking a little. “I just….I dread getting a call from a friend of a friend and finding out that you lost your life on a mission, and….” she sniffed, “...and we never got to say it. I know how you are, and I know that tough exterior is covering up a storm of emotion. I need to know that you aren’t going to be distracted by memories and emotions.”

She walked around him and put a hand on his cheek, looking him in the eyes. “I need to know that if you meet someone, you can let go and fall for her. I need to know that if you go on ‘that mission’, that we’ve said it, and we know that every visit could be the last, but we already let our baggage go. I need to know that you could move on if the time came.”

AJ took Nicole's hand in his and squeezed it. "It just seems like every time we leave each other, we keep coming back…” he sighed for a moment but kept going. “And I can’t help but feeling like it could happen again, but the logical part of my brain is fighting me...” he went silent again and lowered his head as he steeled himself. “Goodbye, Nic.”

She took his face in her hands and leaned up, kissing him gently. “Goodbye, AJ,” she said, smiling through her tears. She pulled him in and hugged him tightly. “Thank you,” she said.

AJ felt like someone had taken a lightbulb to his face.

She let him go and wiped her eyes, taking a deep breath to steady herself. “Camille’s replicating dinner tonight; you should come join us. Stay a while.”

AJ smiled a little. "I'll see what I can do."

She smiled at him. “You’d better. Because, you’re right. You and I have a bad habit of bouncing back and forth in each other’s lives. And going forward, every time you bounce back into mine, I want you to know you will be welcome. You will always have a place to go, a hot meal to eat, and a bed to sleep in. Whether that’s on Alpha Centauri, Earth or Rigel V. But at least I know, if one day you bounce too far, or find someone else to bounce with, we were able to have this moment.”

“Why were you always the logical one in this relationship?” AJ asked jokingly. ’My God, look at you- crying because she’s leaving.’ said a little voice in his head.

“I grew up around Vulcanoids,” she said, shrugging. “Numerology is a very logical religion.” She smiled at him and gave him another kiss on the cheek. “Stay strong, soldier. You’ve not seen the last of us.”

She took a step back and put her hands behind her back. “See you tonight,” she said.

AJ felt Nicole pull away and felt oddly cold. As the door closed, he held up his hand and waved weakly into the thin air and let it fall limply to his side. In an odd daze, he walked over to his bed and simply fell into it.

 

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