Incineration

Posted on Mon Jun 1, 2015 @ 10:18am by Lieutenant Nicole Anderson & Lieutenant Cassandra Kennings

3,274 words; about a 16 minute read

Mission: All this has happened before...
Location: Holodeck
Timeline: Evening before "A trail to follow..."

Nicole stood in the blank holodeck grid, fidgeting with her rifle. She wasn't nervous so much as suffering from abject terror. Confronting her fears was, according to Cass, supposed to be healthy and help her be less intimidated by them, but each time that creature put a claw or a tooth or some other sharp object in her, she was more and more terrified, and her fangs would come out faster. With her heart thudding in her chest it was all she could do not to bolt out of the room as it was.

"I am really beginning to hate the holodeck," she said.

Alec stood beside her. He could feel the terror roll off her like waves, almost to the point of being overpowering. He could understand how a person could drown from their fears; be so overwhelmed they couldn't think or work, the fear paralyzing them. He shifted his feet to turn an face her, his own rifle in his hands. "What? Hate the holodeck? With all the fun we've been having?" He bantered before growing serious. "I am here with, and for you Nicole." he said using the CMO's first name. "Whatever it takes to see this through, to help you. I'm here. You aren't alone. We're in this together." He paused for a moment. "You can do this, you are stronger, better than this. You are in control. Don't let your fears control you. Do as you do in Sickbay, take charge of the situation. Be the strong, take charge woman you are there. As Franklin Roosevelt said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Besides, I didn't think you were afraid of any bogeyman. So,lets go and kick his ass this time."

"All right...." Nicole said. "Computer, begin program."


*********************************************


Thirty minutes later, Nicole was on her back, four ribs broken and both lungs bruised. She was coughing and wheezing as her body healed. It took almost a full minute for her to breathe normally, but when she did, she growled, "I don't know who Franklin Roosevelt is, but he is an idiot."

She stood up and grabbed her rifle and swung it like a Louisville slugger right at the wall. "This is insane! The computer's changing it every time! How the hell are we supposed to do this if someone...is...manipulating..." Her blood ran colder than usual as she felt a sneaking suspicion creep up. "Computer," she said, "who was the last person to modify program Ommadawn-3?"

"Lieutenant Sanders," the computer helpfully supplied.

"State last three modifications," Nicole growled.

"Difficulty level for the specified program was increased on three separate occasions. Stardate--"

"I'll kill her!" Nicole screamed. Her eyes blazed red, her fangs were out and her hair was curling like snakes ready to strike. She was breathing heavy like an enraged animal and she kicked her phaser aside, heading for the door.

Alec limped after her. Like her he was battered and bruised. "Whoa! Hold on! Stop, for God's sake!" His voice hoarse from his bruised throat. As he caught up to her and reached a hand out touching her shoulder. "Wait. Think. Maybe that's the point of all this. To see how you adapt and control yourself in stressful situations and by doing it, you are beating the simulation. Besides if you kill the Counselor, you'll never know for sure."

She smacked his hand away. "Do NOT attempt to justify what she's doing here! This is torture, plain and simple. Her stupid, psychobabble way of getting me to do something and I'm sick of it! She's going to pay for this, and you are not going to stop me, now get out of my way!" She put a shoulder into him, knocking him a bit to the side.

Alec wobbled, looking like a child's toy as he rocked back and forth for several seconds before standing upright and still. "So that's it? You're going to let her win? This whole scenario of you and me getting our butts kicked was to help you overcome and gain control and now your going to go off and beat up the Counselor. Because she didn't tell you she was changing the settings. Don't you see? You are doing that! You were winning! It's why the Counselor was changing the difficulty settings."

"I haven't 'won' anything!" she screamed, rounding on him. "I haven't conquered my fear, I'm still losing control! I still turn into..." she gestured wildly at herself. "This! Stop acting like you know what you're on about! You don't have a f*cking clue!" She turned and headed for the door again, murder in her blood-red eyes.

Alec stood unfazed by her screaming but he feared he was losing the battle as far as trying to get through to her. so, since words weren't working, he decided on a more direct approach. He reached his hands out, grabbing her by the shoulders and pulling her back hard into him, his arms wrapping around her in an attempt to restrain her, "Will you calm down and listen? " as he fought to control her attempts to break his hold on her.

Nicole growled and grabbed his wrists, forcing first one to the side, then the other. Arms spread, she kicked up with a foot, connecting the toe of her boot to his forehead, knocking him back. She spun around and with her last trace of restraint snapping, she gave in to the monster and dove forward.

She grabbed his head, her mouth opening and fangs sinking down into his neck. She held him tight as she fed, ignoring his struggles and his fists, feeling him weaken rapidly as the life drained out of him. She paused to catch her breath and as she pulled away, she caught a glimpse of the look in his eyes, and her mind flashed back to that terrible day, and the face of the janitor looking up at her in horror and begging for his life.

She shoved Hunter away, his body falling to the floor, too weak to stand and she backed up, horror on her own face now, but it was quickly replaced by anger as she realized this, too, was all Cassandra's fault. Once again, Nicole had been pushed to her breaking point, and once again, she broke. And just like the last time, someone was going to die for it. And just like last time, the person responsible was going to pay.

She turned and raced out of the holodeck, flying faster than she normally could, her strength at full bore, ironically thanks to Hunter. She reached Cassandra's office and the doors opened automatically, signaling that Cass was alone, and sure enough, she was standing there, that same stupid smile on her face, quickly replaced by shock as Nicole's fist made contact with her nose, dropping her like a stone.

Cass scrambled to her feet, backing away quickly. "Nicole, calm down," she said.

"Calm down!?!" Nicole growled, baring her fangs. "It's a bit late for that!" She snarled and dove at Cassandra, knocking her backwards over an end table, her hands going for Cassandra's throat.

Cass fought back, grabbing Nicole's wrists, and pushing the angry woman back as Nicole's teeth snapped at her neck. "Okay, you're angry. I get that! But there was a point to this! You ARE in control!"

"Stop saying that!" Nicole shouted and snarled again, redoubling her efforts to get her claws into her friend. They rolled around on the floor, both trying to gain the advantage. Nicole got the upper hand again, delivering several blows to Cassandra's face. "You want control?" she said, each word punctuated by an actual punch. "How's this for control?" she grabbed Cass by the hair, lifting her to her feet and delivered a roundhouse kick to her ribs that sent her flying into the bulkhead.

Cass hit the bulkhead and coughed hard, the air forced out of her lungs. She pulled herself up to her feet again, however, and this time dodged Nicole's fist, grabbing her wrist and throwing her against the wall. "What is this really about, Nicole? Tell me why you're so angry!"

*********************************Holodeck**************************

The doors to the holodeck opened and Cassandra rushed in, dress fluttering and purse slung over her arm. "Oh, God," she said, dropping to Hunter's side. "Commander, I'm sorry," she said, pulling a handkerchief out of her handbag. Instead of placing it on the still-bleeding wound, she placed it on the ground. "Dermasealer," she said. After a moment's hum, she picked up a dermasealer and stitched the wound, stopping the bleeding.

Satisfied he was out of mortal danger, she placed her hand on his forehead, the jewel in her headband glowing brighter and brighter. She gave a smalls shiver as she felt her life force drain, transferring to him, but after a moment relaxed and gathered herself as his breathing steadied and his heartbeat grew. Finally, she sat back on her heels, putting the sealer and handkerchief back in her purse. "How do you feel, Commander?" she said weakly.

Alec hadn't been prepared for the ferocity of Nicole's anger. Even as he tried to hold her, calm her down, she broke his grip fairly easy, kicked him in the head and then bit him! His shock gave way to anger and then fear as he could feel her drinking from him.Felt his blood trickling down his neck as she continued to drink. His fists hammered in her sides but were quite ineffective in stopping her. Like throwing stones at an elephant.Then we she had had her fill, she cast him aside like empty milk carton. He had landed in a heap. A broken and spent rag doll. He had tried to rise from the floor but was just too weak,lying where she had tossed him.

He must have faded in and out of consciousness for the next thing he knew and heard was the Counselor kneeling beside him, apologizing. He looked into her face, saw the worry and concern etched upon it. He tried to focus but wasn't successful and she remained a blur. He felt her working around his neck and placing a hand on his head. Shortly after, he began to feel better. He looked and was able to focus on the Counselor and her question. "Weak as a kitten Counselor but I'll live. I have you to thank for that. I believe. the Doc must have found you. How do you feel?" He closed his eyes for a moment and when he reopened them his gaze was intense. "She bit me." No accusation or anger, just fact. "I was trying to help her."

"Yeah," Cassandra sighed, "welcome to the club." She put her hand on his forehead again, heaving a deep sigh. When she'd stabilized him all she could, she got up behind him and hooked her arms under his. "All right, let's get you on your feet. We need to get you to my office immediately."

Alec pushed up with his feet and Cassandra pulled him upright. In a moment he was standing unaided. He looked sideways at Cass. "Thanks for the assist. Your office?" He questioned, then it dawned as the fog lifted from his brain. "The Doc."

"The Doc," Cassandra confirmed. She guided him out of the holodeck and down the corridor. "She's currently in my office, attempting to cave my skull in. Thankfully, I have a stunt double."

Alec nodded, "She was pretty worked up. Fire in her eyes." He stopped and gave Cass a sideways glance, "A stunt double?" The confusion in his voice evident.


She guided him down the corridor and into a turbolift. Thankfully they were only a couple decks away, and the ride was short. She was relieved to see his steps becoming a bit stronger as they made their way to her office. "Wait here," she said, leaving him just outside of view by the door.

He nodded wearily and leaned against the corridor wall. "Wait here. Sage advice" he muttered.

She stepped in front of the door sensor, the doors opening just as the Cassandra inside the office shouted, "What is this really about, Nicole? Tell me why you're so angry!"

"Because you lied to me!" Nicole shouted. "You used me and you pushed me and now Commander Hunter is dead, because of YOU!" She threw herself at 'Cassandra' again, tackling her to the ground. She straddled her, sitting on her chest and raising her hand, claws extended, ready to deal serious damage.

From just inside the doorway, the real Cass reached a hand out, her eyes glazing over with the swirling miasma of the Galactic Barrier. A ball of violet energy swelled up inside her outstretched hand, and she wound up and pitched like a softball, sending it straight at Nicole.

It hit her shoulder, knocking her sidewise off Cassandra's twin and sending her spinning.

Nicole shrieked in pain as she tumbled, but righted herself quickly and jumped back to her feet, looking for the source of the new attack. She stopped dead when she saw another Cassandra standing in the doorway. She looked back at the ground at the girl she'd been fighting, then back. "What the hell...." she said, then realized. "Another trick." She started advancing on the real Cassandra, but the other woman held up her hand again, another ball of energy ready, and Nicole hesitated.

She looked back at the other Cassandra, who was now getting to her feet and stretching a bit, as if the beating she'd just taken was of no consequence. She reached into her tangle of multicolored locks and pulled out a simple hair clip.

Nicole's face turned from fury to fear as the other woman played with her hair clip, making minute adjustments and suddenly shimmered, going from Cassandra's form, to that of a slim, long-haired brunette with grey eyes in a command uniform. The four pips on her collar glinted in the light as she pulled her hair into a ponytail and held it back with the clip.

"Tiffany?..." Nicole said, warily.

"Hello, Nicole," the newcomer said. "Cassandra thought it might help if I let you take out some anger without too much unnecessary bloodshed."

"Oh fine doing there," Nicole snapped. "She's fine with setting me off, but can't take what's coming to her?" She pointed an accusing finger at Cass. "Thanks to her, Commander Hunter is...." she choked, tears forming in her eyes. "He's dead...I lost control. This whole Providence-damned thing was to help me get control, and all she did was push me to lose it! And now our first officer is dead." Her voice cracked again, her eyes burning. She barely registered that her fangs had retracted, she was shaking from head to toe with grief.

Cassandra lowered her hand, her body returning to it's normal golden-pink hue, her eyes back to their original violet color. She stepped back into the corridor and motioned to Hunter. "Come in."

For a moment nothing happened then Alec stepped into the room. His color was still off but he was decidedly better than the last time Nicole had seen him. "I'm pleased to report the rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated." his eyes taking in the room's occupants before finally resting on Nicole. "Doc? You okay?"

Nicole let out a small squeak, looking as if all her nightmares had come true. She looked back and forth between Tiffany on one side, and Alec and Cass on the other, realizing she was outnumbered. "How..." she said. "I left him there...bleeding...I ran..."

"And I promised I'd watch over you," Cassandra said, calmly. "As soon as you left, I had Captain Edwards wait here, while I ran in to tend to Commander Hunter." She wobbled a bit unsteadily. "He's going to recover. There's been no harm done."

"Right," Nicole scoffed. "Except your entire program was a failure. I'll never beat it because you CHEATED!" she shouted the last word, her anger overriding her shock.

"It was not a failure," Cassandra said, evenly. "The program did exactly what it was designed to do."

"You said you would help me find control!" Nicole said heatedly.

"That's correct," Cassandra said.

"That program," Nicole said, accusingly, "was in no way going to help me get control!"

"That's also correct," Cass said.

Nicole blinked, confused. "Then how do you say it was a success?"

"Because, as you said, that program was not about helping you get control. It was about what you wanted."

"What I wanted was control!" Nicole shouted.

"No," Cassandra said, slowing down for emphasis, "what you wanted, was repression. You wanted to bury a side of yourself so deep that nothing could draw it out. That isn't control, Nicole, it's denial. Control is being the master of it, the wielder of it, not the fearful slave of it."

Nicole swallowed hard. "What I did--"

"You did out of necessity," Tiffany said. "That Roman thief, those Orion Pirates, Ensign Bens--"

"DO NOT SAY HIS NAME," Nicole snarled.

"The Raeru," Cassandra finished. "All of them were people trying to hurt you and your friends. You weren't a monster, you were a hero."

"And the PDP mission?" Nicole said, rounding on Cass. "Who was I protecting then?"

"Yourself," Cass said, unruffled by Nicole's approach.

"Right, until I went on a rampage," she said.

"You cannot be held responsible for that," Cassandra said. "You need to forgive yourself."

"How can I?" Nicole said, her voice heavy with grief. "I killed someone who wasn't a military officer trying to kill me, he wasn't a scientist trying to use me. He was just...there. How do I get forgiven for that?"

Cassandra grabbed Nicole and pulled her into a tight hug. "There's someone standing behind me who is willing," she whispered in Nicole's ear. "Talk to him. Tell him what happened and let him help you decide. If he can forgive you, surely you can forgive yourself."

Nicole sagged against Cassandra, her energy spent and she started to cry. Not the angry tears she'd been so used to shedding, but the real, cathartic ones she'd always denied herself.

As she and Cass sank down onto an ottoman, the odd-woman out walked around them carefully and held her hand out to Hunter. "Captain Tiffany Edwards, USS Castelnaudary," she said quietly. "Cass thought I could be of help getting your CMO straightened out."

Alec took the offered hand. "Commander Alec Hunter. It's a pleasure to meet you Captain. I'm glad she did. That was good thinking on her part." Alec looked over Tiffany's shoulder to where Cass and Nicole sat quietly. "Thank you for your help in this Captain. I think Nicole is going to be fine. If I can ever return the favor, please don't hesitate to ask."


After a few minutes, when Nicole seemed like she was starting to calm down, Cass let her go gently and stood up. She turned to Tiffany and gave her another warm hug. "Thank you, Captain. I appreciate the help."

"Happy to be of service," Tiffany said. "And if you get tired of this cushy duty, there's always a cramped, undersized cabin waiting for you on the Castel."

Cassandra smiled. "Tempting. We'll see." She stepped back as Tiffany shimmered out of existence and turned to Hunter. "Please, sit. You two have sole use of my office until further notice. I'll be in my quarters if you need me." She nodded to them and walked out, the doors closing behind her.


JP

Alec Hunter
XO

Nicole Anderson
CMO

Cassandra Sanders
Counselor

 

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