De-assimilation (Slight Back Post)

Posted on Tue Mar 21, 2017 @ 1:24am by Lieutenant Cassandra Kennings

1,068 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Silence
Location: Cassandra's Office
Timeline: A week or so after the Borg encounter.

Running a hand over his face and feeling the all-too-familiar loss of the Borg implants, AJ stood and looked himself over in the black glass of a sickbay workstation. He was in sore need of a shave and would kill for good chow at this point--he was feeling oddly famished. Pulling on his uniform jacket and pinning on his commbadge, he made his way out into the corridor. Wincing, he noticed the lights were strangely bright and the edges of his vision were tinged with grey.

Cassandra came around the corner to Sickbay, and was surprised to see her next appointment standing there. "Hello AJ. Did Nicole release you already? I was just coming to see you."

AJ fought the urge to groan. He didn't dislike Lieutenant Sanders but he hated the unstated requirement that he needed to see a counselor before he could return to duty. He had stared death in the face more than once and had gone about his business as usual. It wasn't as if this particular counselor was unpleasant- Cassandra was extremely pleasant and highly competent but AJ despised the touchy feely style of most counseling sessions. He was comfortable in his feelings and didn't need someone to tell him that while he laid on their couch.

Raising his eyebrow, AJ looked the woman over. "I was just headed to my quarters but I'm assuming this can't wait. Did you want to do this here or in the mess?" he asked, the weariness showing in his voice.

"Well, why don't we walk down to my office, then. It'll be a much shorter trip," she said, gesturing back the way she'd come.

AJ sighed, resigned, and shuffled down the corridor.

Cassandra kept a respectful distance, but was ready in case he needed her help. He looked like he could drop at any second, and Cass knew Nicole would never forgive her if she let him fall and do more damage.

She steered him into her office and towards a net which she'd strung up like a hammock between two pylons. "I thought this would be most comfortable for your back," she said.

AJ looked at her with a patronizing look and instead picked up a nearby chair, setting it down with a sharp thunk in the middle of the office. Turning it to face her, he straddled it and sat down. "What do you need to know? Yes, I was assimilated for a brief period. Yes, it was incredibly painful and I glimpsed what it was like to be a Borg for I don't know how long. Does the Federation probably see me as a security risk? Probably. But I don't need some therapist to tell me that. So if you'll just pronounce me good to go, I have a job to get back to." he said sarcastically, leaning slightly forward with a huff.

Cassandra sighed. *Stubborn as she is,* she thought. She snapped her fingers, the lights momentarily going out, then turning back on, the hammock gone, and her favorite armchair now facing AJ. She sat down and smoothed her dress. "Was it something I did to a friend of yours, or my mere existence that's earning me this less-than-charming attitude?" she said. "Because I'm relatively sure I haven't said anything to you directly that warrants this."

AJ raised his eyebrow at this. It seemed that all of the women on this ship were in love with their annoying little theatrics. "You are aware that I've seen the woman I love turn halfway into what I can only describe as a demon, right? You doing your little snap trick doesn't faze me. Not. One. Bit." Leaning forward, AJ's eyes narrowed to slits. "You want to know why I'm pissed off? Fine, I'll tell you: When I was assimilated, they should have left me there. Period." Swallowing, he continued. "For a few short moments, I belonged to something, completely, with no sense of anything else and you know what? I loved it. I loved every second, but now I'm back to this," he said regretfully, motioning to his still grey-tinged face and the single implant scar that remained above his left eyebrow.

It was an interesting, and not entirely unexpected reaction. His attitude problems had been reported long before this, but the experience seemed to have only worsened them, rather than have given him any kind of epiphany. "What about it is so attractive to you?" she said.

AJ sighed and leaned forward. "I belonged to something that was more than just a uniform. Yes, I was a part of the collective, but I was free. Free to be without fear of consequence. It was the most liberating experience of my life, like a caged bird learning to fly." he said, his eyes glazing over.

"I'd think it could be argued that you belong to something now that's more than just a uniform," Cassandra said. "But remember, your experience is not typical. Normally there is an entire collective removing that freedom and your will. You were fortunate the Captain was able to retain control."

AJ chuckled sardonically at this. "Hm. You're defining that as fortunate? When she decided to save me, I saw things that I hope I never have to see again. More death and murder than one man should have to see in a lifetime. I saw it and it plays over and over in my brain, so why would I want to keep living through that?"

"Maybe you should ask her," Cassandra said. "She lives with the same memories. We have all seen things we hoped never to see, some of us remember them better than others. Yet many of us keep on living, and still find joy in life. I won't lie to you and say it's easy, but it's still possible."

AJ shook his head and gave another sardonic laugh. "You don't get it," he said. "I found joy. And I lost it." He stood up, knocking his chair over and walked out of her office without looking back.

Cassandra watched him go and sighed. She stood up and walked over to her desk in the corner of her office and activated her computer.


To: Captain Kennit
Re: Lt. Taggart

Captain,

I regret to inform you that Lt. Taggart is not fit to return to duty...



Cassandra Sanders
Ship's Counselor

Lt. AJ Taggart

 

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