The Knave of Hearts

Posted on Sat Aug 24, 2019 @ 5:45am by Lieutenant Nicole Anderson & Lieutenant AJ Taggart

1,529 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Plaga Navis
Location: Sickbay
Timeline: During/After Caucus Race

"And Ensign Palmer is reporting that he's feeling better and he'd like to go back to his quarters if he can," Maggie said.

"Fine 24 hours bedrest before going back on duty. And the next time he wants to route around in the power conduits, remind him of this ilttle jolt," Nicole groused. She signed the padd and handed it back to Maggie. "What else do we have ongoing?"

"Professor Anderson would like you to get to the lab at your earliest convenience," Maggie said, going through her notes. She looked up and her eyes got wide. "And we have a guest."

Nicole turned and almost leaped out of her skin. "A...AJ?"

AJ leaned on the door frame to her office. "Surprised to see me?" he said slyly, a genuine smile crossing his face as warmth filled his chest. If there was one thing he missed about the Victory, it was Nicole. The way that things ended the last time he was aboard could only be described as disastrous but now was his time hopefully make things right.

Nicole walked up to him slowly, looking like she'd seen a ghost. She looked him in the eye, poked his shoulder to make sure he was real, then shoved him into her office, the doors closing behind her as she followed.

"I told you last time," she said heatedly, "not to run off on an assignment without telling me."

As he opened his mouth she held up a finger. "I do not want to hear it," she said. "Just shut up and give me a hug." She smiled, her eyes getting moist, and grabbed him, hugging him tight.

He was surprised for a brief moment, then he relaxed slightly as he took in the scent of what reminded him of strawberries in Nicole's hair. "You don't know how much I missed you, Nic." AJ said in a near whisper as he wrapped his arms around her and feeling the warmth of her skin. In the few moments he held this embrace, it felt like he was truly at home for the first time in years. Moving so that his hands were still on her shoulders, AJ's face turned red as he reached into his pocket with one hand and pulled out a small black jewelry box "I've been holding onto this since before I left. Figured now might be a good time to give it to you." he said sheepishly, popping it open to reveal a small but ornate white-gold necklace with a small midnight blue ovoid stone that flashed brilliant blues and purples as the harsh shipboard light hit it.

Nicole blushed hard, her face turning far less pale. "It's beautiful," she said. She closed the box and curled his fingers around it, holding his hand between hers. "But I can't accept it." She looked up at him and this time her eyes were tearing up completely. "AJ...some situations have changed."

After the fight we had, and the way we left things," she said, her voice heavy, "and then you left again, and I didn't know if I'd ever see you again..." She paused as her voice cracked. "Needless to say, I was not pleasant to be around. And then, out of the blue, I met someone. It got serious, and it's been a few months now and..." She looked up at him again. "I'm sorry."

AJ resisted the urge to wince as the warmth in his chest was replaced with a sharp and biting cold, almost as if something had been ripped out of him. He pulled away slightly, his arms moving to his sides limply as he held onto the box. "You know- I deserved that. I wasn't the best man and you-" he stopped for a moment as he picked his words. "- you deserve someone that makes you happy, and deep down, I'm glad you found someone who can." he said softly, the heel of his boot digging a small circle into the carpet. Setting the box down on the desk next to him, he stepped back slightly as the cold was replaced with nausea- not from disgust but from the torrent of his own failings running through his mind at a million miles an hour. "You can keep the necklace, Nic. Maybe you can give it to someone and brighten their day a bit." he said, a certain weariness entering his voice.

Everything that was good about their relationship and everything that had been bad about their relationship was replaying right before her eyes. She looked at him pleadingly, then felt her spine stiffen and her voice harden. "No," she said.

AJ didn't respond verbally, he simply gave Nicole an insistent look. She was fighting his attempt to extend an olive branch and while frustrating, he could understand why she was doing this- she had to protect herself- from him.

"I said no," she repeated. "Do not close up on me, AJ. Don't walk away. Talk to me. This was always our problem: communication. I never told you how I felt when I should have, and you would turn off and tune out when you were upset. It makes you a good agent, but it's not helpful right now."

She walked up in front of him and took his hands. "That necklace is not for some random person's 'bright and sunny day,'" she said. "It's from one of the most wonderful men I've ever met, and I will cherish it forever. I don't want it out of my life and I don't want you out of my life. You will always have a place in my heart and I wish I could take this pain from you. I'm sorry I keep hurting you, and I pray you can forgive me. You deserve so, so much better."

AJ shook his head and stepped back slightly. "It's okay, I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn't have come barging in here pretending everything was going to go back to the way we left it. That was wrong and I see that now but if the situation ever changes, I'll be here." he said before removing a PADD from his satchel and switching tacts from personal to professional. "Now, you wouldn't happen to know why I was sent from the other end of the sector to help you out, would you?" he asked.

Nicole's ire was rising, but a steady voice in the back of her head reminded her of the mission at hand. "The Captain has been kidnapped," she said, also wearily. "Agents from an alternate universe have gained a foothold in the Delta Quadrant. They've developed a virus that is a doomsday device for humanoid life. We created a stop-gap measure with the Captain's nanites. I believe they've abducted her to try to establish a countermeasure. Helm and Science need help locating a trail. Penny has some theories she's working on, but if you have any leads of suspicious activity, that will help narrow things down for them."

AJ thought for a moment. "Well, there was a minor incident aboard the Langley that took out a deck." he said offhand. "But I can't talk about it with you. You're not cleared for it." he said. Leaning against the doorway again. "As far our more personal conversation goes, I just..." AJ trailed off for a moment and tried to find the words. "I can't talk about this because the only thing that's going to happen is we're going to go around in circles with me talking about how much I care about you and you're going to tell me that you're as a shoulder to cry on. Well, let me tell you something- that's not what I need right now. Right now, I need to focus on something else because thoughts of you, no matter how happy they make me- take me away from what I'm supposed to be doing here and that's something we can ill afford right now."

Nicole sat back against the edge of her desk. "AJ," she said, pleadingly. "This is where we left things! We can't just do what we did last time. You can't be sullen and I can't be angry." She sighed. "You left. You didn't say goodbye. I checked my terminal every morning, wondering if I'd hear from you for two weeks before I accepted you weren't coming back. You're right, you can't saunter in and expect me to be waiting for you, but you can't just turn your back and shun me again either." She walked up to him slowly. "Talk with Cassandra, talk with me, but talk with someone. But no matter what you want to do, my door is open and a hug is waiting."

She stepped back to let him leave and sat back against her desk.

Walking towards the door, he turned around. "When you get some time, stop by Deck 5 Secondary and we'll talk about exactly why I left things the way I did." he said before walking away wordlessly.

Nicole felt the same cold stab through her heart and folded her arms, her old scowl back in place.

 

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