Pull up! Pull up!

Posted on Wed Apr 1, 2020 @ 11:00pm by Lieutenant Penelope Naroot

1,275 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Nibiru
Location: Penny's Quarters
Timeline: Post Away Mission

Penny had changed out of her uniform and into a crop top tshirt and shorts, taking advantage of the prescribed down time to stay comfortable and start to compose a letter. She wasn't sure what conclusions she was drawing yet, but she was getting closer to something. She'd just started writing when the chime to her quarters went off. She figured it was Camille checking up on her, so she jumped out of her chair and padded over to her door.

She hit the activator and the doors opened and she smiled. "Hey," she said, before seeing who it was. She sighed and closed the doors, going back to her chair.

Zack pressed the chime again.

Penny sighed and got back up and opened the door again, folding her arms. "What can I do for you, Lieutenant?" she said.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you," Zack said. "I wanted to see how you are."

"I'm tired, but recovering," Penny said, then let the silence hang awkwardly.

"I also wanted to thank you for saving my life. If it wasn't for you, I'd be dead." Zack looked at her. "I'm surprised you're alive...figured the beast would have done much more damage...even kill you...but you don't look the worse for wear."

"Nicole's a good doctor," Penny said, stepping back a step and letting him enter and the doors close behind him. "It bit my leg, but didn't hit the bone before I grabbed onto it." She took a breath. "And...you're welcome. Given your average number of words to me every month is less than two dozen and you'd already exceeded that, I wasn't sure I'd hear from you."

"And I also want to apologize to you about ghosting you after we had sex. That was completely inappropriate, and I don't know if I hurt you...if I did, I'm sorry for that as well." Zack stood awkwardly in the room. "That experience of almost dying made me realize that I need to grow up and behave like an adult. Gone are the days of me sleeping around. Bryanna and I are getting married and we're committing ourselves to each other. We're going to ask the captain to marry us. We both hope you'll attend the ceremony." He looked around the room. "I've taken up too much of your time...you probably need to rest...so I'll be going. Again, thank you." He turned and headed towards the door.

"I don't get your timing," she said. "I already....what was the expression....'wrote you off' a couple months ago. You didn't just 'ghost' me, you used me." Penny was familiar with what anger felt like, but she couldn't quite identify all the emotions she was feeling. It was as if she'd had a backlog of processing requests and she was suddenly able to execute all her previous musings. "You made all that talk about how it must have been meant to be, and even lied that it wasn't a...what did you call it? One night stand?"

She folded her arms again watching his crest fall. "So after our one night, you then proposition my two best friends, and half a dozen others. And I was upset by that, yeah. At the time I didn't know why. Do you know why, Zack? Do you understand why I was upset after that when you wouldn't look me in the eye, only talked about how lonely you were, but never accepted my being a friend, when you would avoid talking to me on the bridge every. single. day for weeks at time? Avoided me on DQ-8 our entire leave? And then you start up with that ensign and I think, 'maybe he's changed' but then find out, no. Not really. You are Mudd, Zack Logan, and you are not a good person."

She didn't know where all that came from, or how long she'd been considering it, but she felt her eyes water and she turned away, trying to keep her dignity, although realizing it was hard to do in her outfit. "You used me like a tool that you needed and then discarded me like I was an inanimate object with no feeling, no mind, no..." she almost said soul, but didn't think she was at that level. "Anything," she finished. "That's the worst thing you could have done, and I wish I knew how to handle it."

"Of course, you're right about everything you just said. I was insensitive and immature. And I know there's probably no way I can make up for everything I've done to you and the others." He looked down at the floor, unable to look her in the eye. "Maybe the best thing is for me and Bryanna to put in for a transfer. I know you can never forgive me. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, big words. We're not anywhere in a position to transfer you, so you're stuck here," she said. "So quit being dramatic. Just try being a better human being."

"But isn't this me trying to be a better human being?...by apologizing and asking forgiveness? Tell me...what more can I do?" he said.

"Yeah," Penny said. "So, okay. For months, you've been a jerk to me, and now for five minutes you've been a better person to me by apologizing....and I'm supposed to forgive you? I know I don't always get how these things work, but even to me that seems a bit off. Shouldn't it take some....I dunno....effort on your part? I mean...did you think you were going to come over, apologize, and I'd just shrug and say okay?" She wiped her eyes and paced around her quarters, kicking her clothes out of the way. "I don't know why I'm so angry or how you're doing this, and I don't understand what I'm supposed to do here, Zack! What does 'forgiveness' even mean?"

"You don't have to forgive me...I know I hurt you...hurt others...that's on me." He looked at her. "If you can't find it in your heart to forgive me and let the past die, I accept that. I was hoping we could be friends, but that seems impossible now." He moved towards the door. "I'll ask the captain not to assign us together for anything. If it means Bryanna and I have no friends here, that's the way it is."

Penny shook her head. "You're an idiot," she said. "Not to mention a coward. I don't hate Bryanna. No one does. She's not the problem here, you are. And if you're too scared to fight for something, then yeah, I think we'd better have the Captain reassign you."

He looked at her, then threw his hands up into the air. "I'm not and idiot or a coward! Would a coward come here and beg for your forgiveness! I have no idea what to say to you anymore! I came here to apologize and to thank you for saving my life! But you don't want to hear it!" He stared at her. "Yea..your right....I will ask the captain to transfer us! It's obvious we're no longer welcomed here! Sorry I bothered you, Lieutenant!" He stormed towards the door.

Penny watched him go, her face turning red as she felt herself get angry. She sputtered as the doors closed and marched out after him, but by the time she turned down the corridor, he was out of sight. She stomped her foot angrily and looked back and forth, unsure of where to go, then made her decision and set off to a turbolift.

 

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