Living with Ghosts (Backpost)
Posted on Thu Jul 23, 2020 @ 11:50pm by Lieutenant Penelope Naroot & Commander Cullen Walker & Lieutenant Nicole Anderson & Lieutenant JG Camille Lévesque PhD & Lieutenant JG Sydney Friedman Jr
2,585 words; about a 13 minute read
Mission:
The Binary Suns
Location: Holodeck 1
Timeline: After "Cuts, Butts and Coconuts"
It was the anniversary of his brother's death, the scene was the same place. There was no crowd betting. There were no fighters fighting. Cullen was on the platform doing kata. Blindfolded with early 21st century music playing. He was doing kata and a rap song, BAMF by Red Con 1 was playing. Other songs had played, but this was the current song. Humidity and gravity was set at 200%. Base temperature was set at 110°. A lesser man would have passed out by now, but Walker was Klingon, Vulcan, and Human Eugenic. He was wearing himself out. This was how Walkers dealt with emotions. They had to break themselves before they could talk.
Penny stomped around the curve of the corridor and tapped the holodeck controls, Sydney hot on her heels. "See? I told you," she said. "He's been in there for six hours."
"Penny," Sydney said, "he's the First Officer. He's entitled to extended holodeck privileges. We can't go barging in because he decided to spend his day off there. Perhaps he wants a bit of solitude? Who are we to interrupt his personal time? It's his time to spend. If he wishes to be alone, that's his prerogative."
"Yeah but look at the control settings! He's got it up way past what a person should be tolerating, and I know why he's doing it. He's upset, and he's pushing himself too far."
Sydney blinked when she saw the conditions inside the holodeck and inclined her head. "Okay, you may have a point. Still, if he's not asking for help yet, we shouldn't impose."
Penny huffed and tapped her combadge. "Naroot to Anderson, I need your help at Holodeck One."
"And then again," Sydney said. She wasn't too familiar with Penny's moods, but she'd heard enough about the precocious Lieutenant that this wasn't unexpected. "At the very least," Sydney said, "you should ask permission to interrupt. Given how high he's dialed the gravity, I wouldn't suggest we just stroll in."
"If he was responding to comms, we wouldn't be here," Penny said. "I tried contacting him earlier, and when he didn't respond I tracked him here. If he needs medical attention, Nicole can help. If he's just being stubborn, she can still help."
"Now, pull back," Nicole said, guiding Camille's arm. "Don't watch the tip, watch the target. You're not aiming to the end of your nose, you're aiming in the distance." She stood behind Camille, her hands helping pull back the string, whispering in her ear. "Feel the shot. You've got all the time you need....all the time in the world."
Camille stood still, holding the bowstring taut. She was patient. She listened attentively to the lesson. She diverted her eyes from the arrow tip to the distant target.
The lesson had been her idea. Something that Nicole could teach her that was interesting, fun, practical, and historical. That the phaser range could be used for other weapons training was convenient. Her mind briefly wandered, thinking what sort of skills she had that she could teach back. But she tamped down errant thoughts and put her mind back on the task.
She slowly exhaled and let go of the string.
Nicole watched the arrow fly and sink into the blue circle of the target. "Good!" she said, smiling. "And you hit the target this time." She grinned wickedly and walked to retrieve the arrow.
"One in nine is good for a beginner!" Camille countered.
"Naroot to Anderson, I need your help at Holodeck One," Penny's voice said over the comm.
Nicole stopped, turning towards Camille. "Does she sound agitated to you?"
"Un peu," she agreed. "Let's go."
Penny was pacing slightly when she heard footsteps. "Finally," she said, recognizing the stride. As Nicole and Camille came around the corridor she stopped. "Commander Cullen is inside the holodeck and I think he's having trouble."
"We don't know that for sure," Sydney said, trying to keep the situation calm. "He's been in there for some time, and he's put the holodeck settings to something a bit strenuous."
"And he's got comms turned off," Penny said, looking at them. "And he's been in there for six hours. And today's...." She paused, not wanting to air his business in front of the uninitiated. "A bad day for him," she concluded.
Nicole looked at Camille and gave a sigh. "Penny, we can't just barge in. If Walker wants to be on his own, mourning in his own way that's his business."
"Something's wrong with the situation," Penny insisted. "I don't know why I know but it's the only conclusion I can reach, here." She pointed at her stomach.
"He's not exactly the healthiest person we know, in these terms," Camille observed. "And I trust Penny's intuition more than I trust Commander Walker to know his limits."
Nicole sighed and looked at Camille. "Flip you for it," she said.
The science officer smiled. "Non. I'll unlock it. Penny is the first one in. You and Sydney be ready for emergencies." Camille's authority was limited but she could manage access to holodecks if necessary. The holodecks used computer bandwidth, after all, and her department had priority over computer use. She tapped on the control panel and the door opened. "Après vous, mesdames."
Nicole walked towards the doors and stood at the edge. She could feel the increased gravity pulling at her, and while the heat felt good, she didn't think the others would care for it. "Hold back," she said, stepping inside. She grunted from the effort but kept her head up and walked towards her CO. "You're not answering comms," she said without preamble. "Something on your mind?"
As soon as Levesque put in her command code, the gravity, heat, and humidity started to roll down slowly. His music quit. He took off his blindfold and saw Anderson. "I had the program set to end if bridge tried to contact me or we had an emergency situation." If someone used their personal comm it wouldn't go through. "Today is the anniversary of my brother's death. The one I view as a defining moment in my life, same one I tried to share with Penny, per the ways of my faith. Every year, I go to a holodeck and do kata. I sweat it out." Nicole would know that he and his other brother watched their baby brother die, at the Kumite. He watched his brother get his neck broken. Later in the tournament, he fought the guy who did it, and lost by falling off the platform, the same one he standing on, doing kata. He had emotions about this.
Nicole took a breath, her nose wrinkling at the smell, and walked with a bit more fluidity as the environmental controls returned to normal. "I see," she said. "Well, if I were you, or rather, if you were me, I--if I weren't me--would say to you, as me, that I was putting myself through the wringer for some reason." She stepped up onto the platform he was on and folded her arms, looking at the other three in the doorway. "Would you agree?"
Looking at her, "I'm sweating too hard and I smell bad. If our roles were reversed, would I check on you? Yes. Then I would self explo... nevermind." He took a deep breath. "Computer, open door on holodeck 1. Would everyone else like to come in? Environmental should be back to normal in a bit."
As the doors opened again, Sydney looked inside and at the others. "I'm sorry, could someone please explain what's going on?"
Looking at Sydney, "I was Security. I can figure out this puzzle.", Walker said dryly. "Today is the anniversary of my baby brother's death. I suspect, because she knew because in a round about way I told her, Penny got worried about me. Why don't you and based on the roster schedule, you and Camille step inside?" It was an educated guess, Camille and Nicole have Date Day on their shared day off. "To answer your question, Dr Friedman, I work out all day on this day. I sweat out my emotions. This program is the Kyoga Ryu Kumite competition. My Paternal half brothers and I were invited to compete. I watched my baby brother get his neck broken on this very platform. My other brother and I were sitting over there." He pointed to a Stadium seating.
Sydney stepped inside the holodeck and looked around. "I see," she said. "I'm sorry for your loss. What, exactly is the purpose of the competition?"
"It's bloodsport," Penny said with distaste.
"Oh, I see," Sydney said, looking at Walker. "And you witnessed your brother murdered here?"
"It's slightly more nuanced than that, Pen," Nicole said. "Still, it is rather....intense," she said.
"You're both right," Camille added.
Sitting down on the edge of the platform, "Almost a millennia ago, in Japan, when not in Wartime, there was a need to push Samurai to be better. This tournament was founded. It was also used to settle disagreements to prevent war, much like the early Olympics. There are four ways to win. One, you knock someone out. Two, make them say mite. It is like saying Uncle. Three, they leave the platform." He only listed three and stopped. "The Fourth way happens and it is frowned upon. We should be trained well enough that the fight doesn't have to end that way. The goal is both fighters, from two different training systems, win or lose, will learn something and get better. To take pleasure in the fourth way is considered dishonorable, but it isn't stopped unless the other fighters stop it." He was not allowed to say the fourth way aloud. "I was sitting right over there with my other brother. We watched it." He rubbed his eyes. "The tournament continued. Last fight. It was me and his murderer. I went to do a one handed kick and he kicked my arm out from under me and broke my arm and tore every ligament. I fell off the platform."
"And the other fighter killed your brother," Sydney finished, folding her arms across her chest. "I can't say I approve of a program that allows murder. And I'll admit, I'm a bit concerned that you feel the need to immerse yourself in it, even infrequently. Is wearing yourself out your way of honoring his memory?"
Raising an eyebrow, "The tournament is a real tournament, not a holodeck program. Starfleet turns a blind eye for various reasons. Intelligence and Security sends people here to let them fight and learn new things. It is open to Martial Artists of the entire Federation and their allies. My family is a legacy. Fighters good enough in our family just get an invitation. Myself and both of my brothers were invited. My baby brother wasn't going to go, but we talked him into going. He had his MD at 15. He hated violence. He was spectacular at Kata. As kids, when we got to go back to Earth, my brothers and I would do kata until we couldn't anymore. We would see who fell out first. Walkers like to be the best. Then we would go eat chicken wings with different sauces on them. In the beginning, I came to this exact holodeck program because I blamed myself. A shrink like you helped me realize, based on my brother's psych profile, he wouldn't want that. Now I do it to remember him. His favor wing was garlic parmesan and mango habanero. Have you ever eat them?" Walker was hoping she wasn't intentionally insulting a thousand years of martial arts tradition." He laughed. "I used to call him Doogie like this old Earth TV show."
"I assumed it was real," she said. "Although, I can't say I like the idea of a blind eye. But, that's neither here nor there. If you're not pushing your limits in a dangerous way, and you're not doing this to harm yourself, then there's nothing to be concerned about."
She turned to Penny. "However, I'm sure the Commander appreciates that you care."
The only thing redder than Penny's uniform was her face. "I'm sorry, Commander," she said, quietly.
Looking at her, "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. Caring about people is never bad. You are a lot like him. You care for everyone and everything. This will never be condemned by me." Looking at her, "In my faith, if there is a percieved connection, we share the incident that changed us, as you know." Looking at the rest, "Before that tournament, I was going to resign from Starfleet. My dreams were to be a prizefighter and a Mercenary. Lots of women, booze, and gold pressed Latinum." He pointed at his uniform, "That incident changed me." Speaking to the computer, "Bring up my SFI File, second tournament, last fight. Penny, I promise you, no one dies. At the beginning of the tournament, I told the Council that oversaw the tournament I was going to get Justice for my brother. They assumed I would kill him in the fight."
The video of the fight began. Walker bowed, but his opponent didn't. The fight was intense. The beat the snot out of each other, but eventually, Walker knocked him out. A member of Starfleet security handed Walker cuffs and the perp was arrested on the platform. An 8 person Security Shakedown team beamed out with the newly arrested perp and Walker bowed to the Council. "This tournament is about pushing yourself to be better and stronger. To a martial artist, better and stronger is more than violence." He tapped his head and chest. "The Council gave me a sword for the Valor I showed. It is at my exwife's house. My kids like to look at it."
Sydney had gone rather pale, seeing the display of naked violence like that, but the fact that there had been some restraint on Walker's part was reassuring.
"Well," she said, swallowing, "I'm glad it ultimately set you on a better path." She wrung her hands together a bit and tried to process what she just saw. "Ladies, I think we've taken up enough of the Commander's time. We should let him get back to his ritual, don't you think?"
Nicole was holding Camille against her, as if protecting her from the holographic fight, while trying to protect her from having to see the carnage. "Yes, I think it's time we let the Commander get back to his traditions," she said. "Good evening, Commander." She nodded and walked with Camille back out of the holodeck.
On their way out, Camille called to Walker. "I'm sorry for your loss, and glad you won that fight." She gave a warm smile and allowed herself to be walked out.
Penny stood with her head tilted, analyzing what she'd seen and what Walker had said to her. After a moment, she let out a breath and nodded. "I'm sorry again I disturbed you," she said. "I hope you enjoy your chicken wings tonight." She took a step back towards Doctor Friedman.
Answering, "Wings are best eaten with people. My brother would want me to invite you. All of you." Walker grinned.
Penny nodded. "I'll have to rain check, but i'll have one tonight with my dinner in his honor," she said. "I'll let you get back to it, Commander." She bowed out with the counselor and stepped out.
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