Fireworks

Posted on Sat Sep 13, 2014 @ 9:11am by Lieutenant Cassandra Kennings & Lieutenant Nicole Anderson

1,117 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: All this has happened before...
Location: Counselor's Office

Cassandra had been looking into a small, gold compact but snapped it shut quickly and put it in her handbag. She'd bent down and picked up an Andorian prayer disc, looking along the wall for the best place to hang it, when her office doors opened and a barely-contained supernova walked in.

"All right, Cassandra, out with it: What the hesla are you doing here?" Nicole said, storming up to the other woman.

"Now now, language," Cassandra said, idly, holding the disk up against the wall and giving a "hmm" of thought.

"No, do not do that 'I'm going to let you come to things on your own' thing you do." Nicole was practically breathing fire by this point. She grabbed Cassandra by the shoulder and spun her around to face her. "I want to know exactly what you're doing here."

"I am here to check up on you," Cassandra said hotly, "because we were worried about you! You were incommunicado! The League gets these almost incoherent logs, and then suddenly they don't hear from you for days! And given your history, what were we supposed to think?"

Nicole was grinding her teeth. "I wasn't trying to kill myself," she said. "I locked myself in my lab for my own good. After I got out, and the danger was over, I healed, got piss drunk and spent a few days sobering up in my quarters."

"Lovely," Cass said, sitting down on her couch. "So instead of celebrating with my fiance, I'm here to nurse your hangover?"

Nicole blushed slightly and looked down. "I'm sorry I didn't check in," she said.

"Want to tell me why you were drunk?" Cass said.

Nicole sighed and sat down, her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. "You heard about what happened with the Raeru?" she said.

Cassandra nodded. "You were boarded and attacked and manipulated into attacking each other."

"They were tweaking up our rage levels," Nicole said. "And...I cracked."

"And you hurt someone," Cass said, understanding entering her voice.

Nicole nodded, eyes hollow and skin paling even more. "I killed one of them. He was going to kill us, but that doesn't make me feel any better."

"And what did we talk about last time?" Cassandra said, putting her hand on Nicole's shoulder.

"'Monsters don't have remorse,'" Nicole quoted. "That isn't making me feel better."

"It should," Cassandra said. "Have you confided in anyone here about your condition?"

"Almost," Nicole said. "The First Officer walked in on me while I was running your program."

"Were you honest with him?" Cass said.

"Yes," Nicole said, slightly defensively.

"But..." Cass prodded.

"I zapped his mind and suppressed his memory," Nicole sighed.

"Oh, Nicole," Cass admonished. "The longer you keep it to yourself--"

"The longer anyone looks at me weird. The longer I can go on with my career. The longer I can try to make up for it," Nicole spat.

Cassandra sighed and looked at the floor for a second. "Then you're going to be transferred," she said softly.

Nicole's head snapped back up. "I'm going to be sent back to Rigel?" Her voice was a mixture of hope, skepticism and fear.

"No," Cassandra said. "You'll be put in charge of the infirmary at Aubagne and remain there." She held up a hand at Nicole's expression and shook her head. "You brought this on yourself. If you can't assimilate to life with other people, we'll give you your wish and put you away." She raised an eyebrow and looked Nicole right in the eye. "That is what you keep saying should happen, right?"

Nicole opened her mouth, found herself speechless and closed it again. Why was she going to object? That was what she said should be done, and her friends were offering her a chance for just that.

"That conflicted feeling you're experiencing is called "listen to Cassandra," Cass said dryly. She moved closer to Nicole and put an arm around her. "We've been up and down this road before, and I'm tired of the same scenery," she said quietly. "You want to have all the connections and relationships regular people have, but you don't let yourself get close enough to anyone. It's time to change, or it's time to give up, but the choice is always yours."

Nicole stared at the carpet in shock. Cassandra had always been patient, always understanding. She wasn't the type to deliver ultimatums, typically. Nicole toyed with asking her who was really delivering this message, but knew it didn't matter. Cass may not have come up with that line in the sand, but she agreed with it, otherwise it wouldn't have been brought up.

"What..." Nicole said in a small voice, then cleared her throat and spoke a bit stronger. "What should I do?"

"Relax," Cassandra said. "And start living your life."

"Oh, is that all," Nicole said, some old snark coming back.

"It's a good start," Cass said, smiling at her. "And maybe start to accept a few truths about yourself, and get past a few fallacies."

"I'll start basket weaving tomorrow," Nicole said, but there wasn't much bite to her words. She stood up and looked at Cass, biting her lip. "I'm scared," she said.

"Well there's a truth already," Cass said, smiling and standing in front of her. "Off to a good start."

Nicole gave a small smile. "I'm going to fight you," she said.

"I know," Cass said, nodding and smiling more. "Truth two."

Nicole laughed slightly and hugged Cass tightly. Cassandra hugged her back, as she'd done many times before. "I want to offer you one more challenge," she said.

"What?" Nicole said, her internal warning bells immediately going off.

"Invite the XO to join you on the holodeck again," Cass said, "and see if maybe you can figure out the puzzle together."

Nicole immediately started to shake her head, then physically shook herself, closed her eyes and drew a deep, slow breath. "I'll think about it," she said.

"I'll accept that as a start," Cass said, and gently steered Nicole to the door. "All right, back to work. Put this out of your head for now, and go do the job you love doing."

Nicole nodded and took another deep breath to brace herself. "I'm sorry to drag you out here Cass," she said.

"Well make it up to me by not being a stranger. How about dinner tonight?"

Nicole smiled. "Absolutely."

"Good," Cass said, smiling and opening the doors to her office, letting Nicole back into the world. When she was alone, she shook her head and smiled, and went back to setting up her things.

 

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