Amid Summers' Mind Screen (Backpost)

Posted on Tue Nov 13, 2018 @ 8:03pm by Lieutenant Cassandra Kennings & Senior Chief Petty Officer Samantha Summers

957 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Plaga Navis
Location: Cassandra's Office
Timeline: Three hours after briefing

Cassandra had finally gotten a nap and was feeling decidedly steadier. She'd changed into a fresh uniform and had something to eat, and she was now settled back in her office, watering a plant. When the chime rang, she sat down in her favorite armchair across from a standard issue couch and centered herself.

"Enter," she said.

SCPO Summers did one last smoothing out of her uniform and entered Lt. Sanders' office. "Senior Chief Petty Officer Samantha Summers reporting as ordered, Ma'am." Summers wore the regulation uniform and, out of habit, ducked her head upon entering.

Cassandra gestured to the couch across from her chair. "Please," have a seat," she said, giving a gentle smile.

Summers sat on the couch and placed her hands in her lap.

Cassandra sat back, plucked a padd from beside her and rested it on her knee, looking at Summers. "So, let's start with the basic question: how are you feeling?"

"I am feeling very well, thank you."

"I understand you've had some issues controlling your personality," she said. "What steps have you made to try to deal with that or integrate your previous psyche?"

Summers looked around before answering. "I have been meditating, doing my best to keep my 'Romulan' personality deep within me. It's there, I know it, but I don't want it. I am whom I am and who I was: a Romulan sent on a mission to infiltrate this ship. Why, I don't know; that part is erased from my memory. That part of my life is also non-existent now. I failed my mission, all that I had back on Romulus is gone. Home, relatives, everything. They do not take kindly to failure. All that exists now and what I wish to be is this: I am Senior Chief Petty Officer Samantha Summers. My duty is to the Federation, this ship, and its Captain. And no matter how hard I try, I keep banging my head on the bulkhead."

"Often that comes from acting without thinking," Cassandra said. "Being impulsive and rushing headlong into things is what often causes us to make mistakes. In your case, being of two minds about things can cause confusion, I'm sure, but it's your challenge to accept who you are and forge that path forward carefully and thoughtfully."

Summers grinned slightly. "I also might have to do with my height, but I do understand what you say. I must accept that while I am of Romulus and a Romulan, I am also Human, and must *act* and *think* as a Human, and *be* a Human, and embrace that as fact."

"That is literally the opposite of what I am saying," Cassandra sighed, sitting back. She hated being so direct, her job was to guide, but she was lecturing to two, and one wasn't listening. "You are a Romulan. Your human personae was forced over that and your mind has been so fractured by the process, it's using it as a security blanket. There's a part of you that wishes to embrace it whole-heartedly, I understand that, but you cannot ignore who you actually are. That is only going to make things worse. At some point, the conditioning is going to fully break down, and you are going to be worse off than you are now. Without a full battery of tests I couldn't tell you when, but unless you begin to integrate who you were with who you wish to become, you are going to keep acting out. You need to stop fighting yourself.

Summers' face showed a quizzical look. "So....you want that I should embrace my being Romulan?"

"You are Romulan," Cassandra said. "That is the only honest self you can embrace. You're disguised as a human, and conditioned to think human, but no matter how "foolproof" that conditioning is, it's going to break down eventually. You've already had episodes, ergo why you're under observation. The Captain has given you many opportunities, due to the unique nature of your situation, but your explosive display in Sickbay is only a precursor of what's to come. If you do not begin to reconcile your true self, you're outbursts are going to get worse, and you'll find yourself completely lost."

Summers looked at the floor and sighed. "Then 'Samantha Summers' exists only as a cover sheet, so to speak. In reality she is dead..Again.." Summers looked at Cassandra quickly then away. "I will do my best to do what you desire. I am Karee, of the Tal'Shire. Samantha Summers I shall answer to in her honor."

Cassandra nodded. "All right, that's a start, but at some point, 'she' will have to say it. Perhaps you should write to her. Tell her about this person that she allowed to be created and what you want her to take away from this to help guide her."

Samantha looked at Cassandra, then away, focusing on a close wall. " I will write to 'her,' as you suggest. Perhaps she might find it in her heart to forgive me for having her identity taken away, along with her young life." Samantha looked back at Cassandra. "Perhaps when I have' gone beyond this 'sphere,' we shall meet. I am sure she will have much to ask, and I will have much to tell."

Cassandra nodded. "Undoubtedly," she said. She stood up and gestured to the door. "I'll send my report to the Captain, and I suggest you begin work on your first letter. The Captain will let you know regarding the mission."

As Summers walked out, Cassandra began making notes rapidly, and tried to decide how she was going to talk to the Captain.

JP

Cassandra Sanders
Ship's Counselor

Samantha Summers
Sargent at Arms

 

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