The Hangover Part IV

Posted on Mon Oct 21, 2019 @ 8:12am by Lieutenant Penelope Naroot & Lieutenant Cassandra Kennings & Lieutenant Nicole Anderson & Lieutenant JG Camille Lévesque PhD

3,216 words; about a 16 minute read

Mission: Nibiru
Location: Kahaluu, Hawai'i, Earth
Timeline: Shortly before the wedding

Dear Oscar 47,

Hello! I hope you are operating at peak efficiency, as is everyone else back home! I wanted to write and update you on my study of humanity's concept of 'love.' I've been involved in a sacred ritual called a "bachelorette party" and I believe you will find it fascinating. Be warned, some of the behaviors are illogical--see previous addendums re: human behavior, "female logic", Excuse 187-alpha: "it's tradition!", Excuse 47-Epsilon: "You were dared, you have to!", flirting, sex, profanity, and, most importantly, alcohol--but should not prove too damaging for review.

I had planned on reviewing several thousand articles on the subject, but Camille suggested that a bachelorette party can really only be "experienced" to understand, so I went in with as little prior knowledge as possible. On the surface, it feels much like Klingon rituals I've researched in the past. There is an excessive amount of alcohol consumed, singing, dancing, and I wasn't sure if the objective was to attract as many men as possible, or to rebuff as many men as possible. I kept score just in case, and intend to follow up on the goals later.

As the bride-to-be, Cass was the "Woman of the Hour", however it seemed that title was regardless of what hour it was, as the party went fairly late and no one else assumed that title. While the night life in Kansas City may not compare to Earth's larger cities, it made for an enjoyable time. I continue to be fascinated with how an experience can seem enhanced by the people in proximity to me. When Cass and Amber and I were dancing, it was a completely different experience than when those three local guys attempted to call me over to dance with them. Amber suggested I remind them it was a girls night. One of them said that was perfect, that's what they were looking for. I thought it was fortuitous but Amber pulled me away.

The night was largely uneventful while we were out save for a few unusual moments. One man attempted to dance with Amber twice, and the second time his hand evidently came into contact with her posterior. She took exception to this, and he took a brief flight across the nightclub and landed behind the bar. We then decided to leave shortly after we were thrown out. Heavy inebriation and telekinesis proved to be a dangerous combination. Cassandra was completely passed out by that point, so Tiffany took her and Amber home and I was left with the others. The night was proclaimed a success. I'm not sure the metric they measured with, but if they're happy, I'm happy.

At one point, Nicole had come to me rather upset, concerned that she had walked up to a random stranger and proclaimed that that person was 'the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen' and the other person threw herself at Nicole and kissed her. She was almost as upset as when Camille came to me sobbing that some woman had approached her and she'd been so taken with her sweet talking that she'd kissed her without a second thought. It was around that point that Tiffany suggested we limit their drinks.

As with many tribe mentalities, we looked after ourselves, protected each other from outside dangers, and overall grew closer. However, during some mutual sharing of experiences, there was some friction. Camille found out that Amber was the living legend on Jupiter station who had been a "human limbo pole" for the station's Engineering staff a few years back. Amber wasn't too enthused that she had achieved immortality in that manner. Camille promised not to tell anyone from there that she'd met Amber in person, but she and I agreed we'd 'accidentally' leak security videos of the party for Amber to find later. It should be fun!

Please note that the security footage in my review is only due to--

Penny giggled as she felt someone kiss her stomach. She wriggled a bit and tried to squirm away. "Stop, that tickles!" she said, laughing.

Nicole froze in place. She'd smelled Camille's perfume and had assumed it was her stomach she'd been lying on, but as she glanced up, she saw a different, yet familiar, set of curves in front of her. "Pen?" she said, sitting up, "what in Providence--oohhhhhh bloody hell..." she immediately collapsed back down as her head began to spin.

"You should--"

"Shh! Not so loud!" Nicole groaned.

"--take it easy," Penny finished, lowering her voice. "You didn't get much sleep."

Nicole looked around and realized they were all lying in a king-sized bed in the middle of a brightly-decorated room. "Where the hell are we?"

"My room," Penny said.

"What in blazes are we doing there?" Nicole said.

"You told me to take us home, so I did," Penny said.

"Well at least you didn't fly us to Planet Mudd," Nicole groused, attempting to sit up again. "What time is it?"

"A bit after 0900," Penny said.

"Oh, thank Providence," Nicole said. "I was worried we'd slept through the ceremony."

"I don't think we'd be permitted to wake up at all if that happened," Meesa groaned, rubbing her temples as she regained consciousness as well.

Camille began to stir, but was in as much pain as Nicole and Meesa. “Ugh. Maybe that would be for the best.” She tried to cover her eyes, but found herself naked and handcuffed to the bed frame. “Um, Penny, what’s going on? What are these?” She tried to pull her arms down again, clanking the chain for emphasis.

"Oh, we got those from those friendly Peacekeeper Officers, remember?" Penny said, brightly. "They said they were souvenirs."

Camille smiled and leaned her head back against the headboard. “Ah, oui. I’m not sure those were real peacekeepers though, Penny.”

Penny tilted her head in her 'thinking position. "They looked like real ones. They even said they were responding to a noise complaint, and we were being pretty loud towards the end. Although, now that I think of it, their uniforms did look a bit tighter than regulation required, given their musculature."

"I'll say," Nicole sighed.

"No complaints here," Meesa grinned.

“Very well qualified indeed,” Camille agreed. “Penny, sometimes the entertainment for bachelor or bachelorette parties are dressed in fun costumes before they remove their clothes,” she explained, trying to stifle a giggle. “Those 'officers' were on their way to someone else’s bachelorette.”

"We were just lucky enough to flirt with them first," Meesa said.

Penny blinked, staring at the wall, then lit back up as she processed. "Ohhhhh, I see. That's why you and Nicole made them that offer but didn't go through with it. Because you weren't the ones who had hired them?"

Nicole and Camille exchanged glances. "Offer?" Nicole said.

"When they said they'd have to take you in, you said you'd take them first, but it might kill them."

Nicole snorted a laugh, then groaned at the pain it caused. "Penny...medkit..."

Penny bounced out of bed and ran to her closet, coming back with a Starfleet medkit. She opened it carefully and programmed the hypospray, pressing it to Nicole's neck.

Nicole sighed and took the second hypo from her. "Thank you."

“Can someone please uncuff me?” Camille asked sweetly.

"Oh, must we?" Nicole said, grinning and straddling Camille playfully. "I have to admit I enjoy seeing you like this." She leaned forward and kissed her girlfriend tenderly, while pressing the hypo to Camille's neck, relieving her pain as Penny did the same for Meesa.

“Mmmm!" Camille purred as she was straddled, kissed, and hyposprayed. "I could get used to this, too. But what did we do after we got here? It’s all a bit of a blur. I remember that Tiffany brought Cass and Amber home. We stayed out for longer...” A vague memory of kissing a beautiful stranger made her feel bad. She couldn’t remember much after that. “I remember feeling really, really good. But the details...J’en ai rien.”

"I can confirm the feeling good part," Nicole purred and kissed her again, then looked through Penny's nightstand for a hairpin.

"And I can confirm us being asked to leave the establishment," Meesa said. "That's when we split up and Penny took us here."

"And Camille and Nicole were getting..." Penny blushed and grinned. "Romantic."

"Sounds in character for us," Camille joked.

"It's not outside of their wheelhouse either," Nicole said in a stage whisper, grinning wickedly. She finished working the hairpin in the cuffs and they popped open. "There we are," she said, grinning. She kissed Camille again and curled next to her, stretching languidly, feeling how tired her muscles were. "Feels like someone romanced my brains out, to be honest."

"Yes well your girlfriend is the bold type when she's inebriated," Meesa said, chuckling, then looked at Camille. "Maybe next time, don't challenge an Orion and an android to an 'endurance contest'."

Camille's eyes went wide at the suggestion of what might have happened, and she blushed as certain memories came flooding back. It was true; she could get bold when drunk, and if she and Nicole were in a romantic mood and she knew Nicole would have approved, it was highly likely that she would have suggested something like that to Penny and Meesa. Indeed, her mind started to fixate on a memory of time spent with her legs tangled with Penny's.

Nicole blushed hard. "I thought that was just a very intense dream. Shame I can't be there to see it again."

"Oh I have everything in my notes," Penny said, helpfully, grabbing a padd from her nightstand. "I included as much security footage and video recording as I had and--"

"Woah," Nicole said, cycling through some of the footage, as Camille found her glasses on the nightstand, put them on, and watched over her shoulder. The more she scrolled, the darker their blushes.

"Looks like we had a good time," Camille commented, biting her lower lip.

"No," Nicole said, snickering and pointing at the screen. "I had a good time. You had a great time."

"Whose idea was that?" Camille asked, pointing to something specific on the monitor.

"Something I saw in a book," Meesa said, peeking a look at the screen. "I got worried I'd damaged your eyes when they rolled back like that, but Nicole promised you'd be all right." She gave Camille a grin.

"Well, I'll have to try it again sometime," Camille replied, winking at Nicole.

Nicole grinned back at Camille and kissed her deep, then turned a serious eye towards Penny. "This never gets back to the ship."

"Oh, I don't know," Camille said with a smile as she watched. "Might be good to save a copy. Just in case. It's always good to keep reference material when conducting research." She nodded to the others, a look of mock-seriousness replacing her smile.

"Never said I didn't want a copy," Nicole said with a wry grin.

"It just can't get out widely," Camille continued. "Some heads might go *poof*!" She gestured an exploding head with her hands. She grinned widely at Penny. "Think you can encrypt it so that nobody but us can open it?"

"Already did," Penny said, giggling at Camille's antics. "Although watching him malfunction could be very entertaining."

Nicole laughed as she caught on, and saw Meesa's confused expression. "I'll tell you later," Nicole assured her.

"Well then," Meesa said. "Perhaps breakfast is in order? Or do we intend to just stay in bed all morning?"

"Breakfast does sound nice, now that the hangover is faded," Camille remarked. She paused a second to look out the bedroom window. It looked beautiful out. The beach wasn't far, and the lovely smell of the sea permeated the room. The sun hung fairly low in the sky, low enough that Camille could tell that it was 0900. 0900... "Um, Penny," she asked, her voice beginning to quiver as a really had thought entered her mind. "You said it was 0900, right?"

"Yeah. Well, 0926 now," she said. "Why?"

"Looking at the sun," Camille remarked, suddenly staring intensely at the pretty young android, "I'm wondering what time it might be on the continent. Like in Kansas."

Nicole and Penny looked at each other. "Shit!" they said together, rolling out of the bed.

"How many showers?" Nicole said.

"Guest room, master bed, and mine," Penny said.

"All right, Meesa stay here, Penny get Camille to the master bath, I'll use the guest room," Nicole said. "We meet back here in ten minutes, we'll figure out clean clothing and contact the ship."

Meesa nodded and ran to the bathroom without another word.

Penny hurried out the door, with Camille close on her heels. They rushed into the master bathroom, which was beautiful and tastefully decorated, Camille thought as she removed her glasses and found the controls and activated a stream of hot water. She climbed in and was soothed as the high pressure jet hit her skin, clearing her of the sweat that only came from a night of debauchery. “Penny, where’s the soap?”

"Here!" Penny said, tossing a fresh bar of soap and jumping in with her, activating the other shower jets and quickly beginning to wash the night away. "I cannot believe I didn't realize."

“Hey,” Camille stopped washing herself with Penny’s bar and gently took her friend’s hand. “C’est correct. Tout va bien. It was an accident.” She blushed when she realized she was holding hands with her best friend whilst sharing a shower, but she pushed through it and resumed washing her skin and hair.

Penny giggled as she rinsed her hair out. "This reminds me of when my friends on the Academy Volleyball team and I would be scrambling to clean up after a game."

Camille nodded. “I didn’t play anything in the Academy or university, but was on the girl’s hockey team in high school. Same thing. You got used to showering with your closest friends pretty quickly.”

Penny lit up with another smile. "It really means a lot to me you think of me that way," she said. "I kinda have trouble making friend-friends, you know? I mean, Markus and the boys are fun, but girlfriends aren't as easy, and Logan doesn't say two words to me on the bridge so..." she frowned but then shook it off and smiled again. "Anyway, thanks. I consider you a close friend too." She gave Camille a huge hug and a kiss and then rinsed off again and jumped out of the shower, grabbing a towel.

Camille finished a moment later and stepped out too, grabbing another towel off the wall. Having shared a moment with her friend, she immediately needed her friend to be there for her. “Penny, I think I told you last night? About kissing someone on the dance floor? I think...I think she told me I was the most beautiful creature she’d ever seen. I turned around, eyes closed, and put my tongue in her mouth. I can’t believe I did that! I feel awful! What should I do? Do I tell Nicole? Do I pretend it never happened? What would you do?”

Penny tilted her head, thinking. "Why do you need to tell Nicole you kissed her?"

"What? No, Pen, I'm not talking about Nicole," Camille tried to explain. "I meant that other woman. At the bar? Must've been around 2330 hours? I came crying to you about it right after."

"Yeah I know," Penny said, wrapping the towel around her. "I didn't get why you and Nicole were upset about it. You've kissed plenty of times, right? Why were you upset then? She paused and turned. "Wait...what other woman?"

Camille furrowed her brow as she thought about Penny's words. "Attendez. You're saying that I kissed Nicole? She's the one who whispered that to me, and who I unknowingly kissed? But...you said she was upset too?" Her eyes went wide. "Osti, she didn't realize she was whispering that to me?" She started to gently laugh. "Can you do me a favour and keep that to yourself? As far as she's to know, she kissed a stranger and should be very upset with herself," she said, using once again her mock-serious tone.

Penny blinked, updated her report, added "practical jokes" to her addendum list and then smiled. "Okay!"

Camlle grabbed her eyewear and gestured to the door. "Come on, let's go back to the bedroom and find some clothes."

Meanwhile, Nicole ran quickly down the hall to the guest room and threw herself into the shower, not waiting for the water to get warm. She instantly regretted the decision, but toughed it out and soon was more comfortable. She bathed quickly, wishing her hair was shorter, but doing her best to lather and rinse in her race against time. When she was sure she was shampoo free and soap free, she killed the water, grabbed a towel hanging on the rack and raced back to Penny's bedroom, getting there about the same time the others did.

Meesa was already there, towel around herself as well. "We have a problem. Our clothing is not exactly...wearable..."

"Okay we'll have to see about replicating something basic until we--" she stopped as they all suddenly vanished in the light of a transporter beam, appearing on the Castel's transporter pad. Amber and Tiffany were both in their dresses, arms folded, faces in a scowl.

"We can explain," Nicole said.

"Oh, no need," Amber said. "Pretty sure I can guess. Meanwhile, Cassandra is waiting to walk down the isle, so we need to get moving. Lucky for you the minister was delayed so we bought ourselves just enough time to get in position.

"Um..." Nicole said, looking down at their towels.

Amber's eyes glazed over with a swirling pink miasma and she threw her hands out, blue and gold sparks flying from them and blasting the towels away, the four dresses taking their place. Everyone's hair had dried and been done up, roses circling their heads. Nicole looked at the others and was impressed to see even their makeup was fixed.

"Thanks," Nicole said.

"You're welcome. Oh and Cassandra wanted me to mention she hopes you appreciate the irony of solving all our problems through magic," Amber said, glancing at Camille.

Camille looked at herself and gently touched at her hair. The yellow dress was beautiful, exactly how it was with Cassandra earlier in the week. "Hey, ça fonctionne, I won't complain."

Tiffany set the beam down coordinates and everyone moved to the transporter pad. "How did you find us, anyway?" Meesa said.

"Local authorities tipped us off," Amber said. "Oh, which reminds me," she said, looking towards Nicole and Camille. "Officers Peyton and Banyon both stated they were ready to risk their lives if you come back. I'll assume they were referring to you," she said, fixing Nicole with a glare.

Nicole and Camille exchanged a horrified look as Penny laughed. "They were real?!?" Nicole shouted as the transporter beam took them away.

 

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