Goodbye to Sandra Dee (Backpost)

Posted on Thu Oct 24, 2019 @ 2:53am by Lieutenant Cassandra Kennings & Lieutenant Penelope Naroot

1,150 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Nibiru
Location: Hawaii, Earth

Penny had left the reception almost last, hugging Cassandra and Richard hard before transporting back to Hawaii. With the time change, she had just enough time to clean up the house from the drunken fun the night before and hide all the incriminating evidence from her room before her parents got home from their trip.

At 10:30pm, Hawaii time, the front door opened and Penny threw herself into her mother's arms, hugging her tight, followed by her dad. She spent the next half an hour talking their ears off about the ship, her adventures, and the wedding. Her mother was thrilled with the sari Penny had on and her Father was relieved she was home safe. Eventually, however, her parents needed sleep, kissed her goodnight, and went to bed.

Penny waited until she heard her father snore, then went to her room and changed into a two-piece swimsuit. She grabbed a blanket, then silently slipped out the front door. She activated their hoverscooter, and rode from their house into town, and made her way to the beach. At that hour, there was no one around, and she had the area to herself, as she preferred. She sat down on her favorite spot, pulled her legs into the lotus position, and closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing. It had been too long since she'd had time to really explore her thoughts like that, and she was happy to have a few hours of peace.

After a few hours, she opened her eyes, waiting for the horizon start to lighten.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" a voice said behind her.

Penny turned quickly to see Cassandra walking up to her. "What are you doing here?" she said.

"Richard's still asleep," Cassandra said. "I woke up early, and I checked in on all of you. You looked upset, so i thought I'd offer one last session." She sat down next to Penny patted her knee. "The doctor is in."

"I'm just..." Penny said, hesitating. "I'm debating about returning to the Victory."

"Why?" Cass said.

"I feel like I have been doing things all wrong," Penny said. "I annoy the Captain, I completely failed to understand Zack, I'm a department head, but I never feel like I'm taken seriously about it. I'm just 'that girl steering the ship.' I can do so much more, and I feel like I'm not living up to my potential."

"Flotter would annoy the Captain," Cass said. "And I wouldn't use your..." she hesitated for a word,"...'dynamic' with Zack Logan as a barometer for anything. He's got his own priorities right now, and being your observational study is not one of them. Part of being human is understanding that not everyone is going to get along. Sometimes we rub each other the wrong way. That happens with friends and those who aren't friends. It's part of being an individual."

Cass adjusted her legs and sat back. "As for you not being taken seriously as a department head....well that starts with you."

"What do you mean?" Penny said. "I do my job."

"Yes, and you do it competently," Cass said, nodding. "But not always maturely. You need to approach it with a bit more gusto, and a bit more gravitas. Less sliding across the conference table, more being early for briefings, and maybe leading a few of your own. You don't lead your team, so much as let the team lead itself. You work with your group, but when was the last time you branched out and included other departments? If you want to be a department head, you need to act like one inside and out."

"So...I need to stop acting like me?" Penny said.

"You need to tone it down while on duty, yes," Cass said. "Be you. Be that bundle of excitement and awe and wonder that we all love, but focus it through the lens of maturity that I know you can muster. The more you do, the sharper that lens becomes. No one will say you can't be yourself, or that you have to be dull or a drone. You just need to show some drive to be a leader. If you feel you aren't living up to your potential, then it's up to you to change your habits and take actions necessary to improve yourself. That's what we all do, and that's what you have to do."

Penny mulled that over, watching the first rays of the sun start to lighten the horizon. "Thanks, Cass," she said, then looked at the counselor. "Why are you so frank with me?" Penny said. "You never seem to give straight advice to anyone else."

"I am how I need to be, depending on who I need to be, based on who I'm with," Cass said. "The Captain needed someone to intimidate and ignore, so I advised, but expected her to go her own way and lord over me. Nicole needed someone to lead her down the path, because if I push her, she'll just dig her heels in deeper and bang her fists against the wall until I give up. Some people needed a sister, some needed a friend, some needed a spiritual guide. In every case, I tried to be what they needed me to be, so they could be receptive to what they needed to hear." She looked at Penny fondly. "You, in all your naive glory, are still very much a straight-forward honest person. So for you, I give it to you straight, because I know you'll take what I say at face value, without bias."

They sat in silence for a moment, then Penny said, "I felt alone there, often."

"Why do you think you feel that way?" Cass said. "You have friends on board, coworkers. What makes you feel alone with them there?"

"I guess...I don't like how I left things with some people. It feels like...I need answers. But I've kept myself away."

"We call that 'closure,'" Cass said. "Sometimes, though, we don't always get it. Are these people you want to continue having a connection with?"

"Most of them, yes," Penny said.

"Then talk to them. Explain your feelings, and tell them you value their friendship. It'll hurt at first, but it will get better, and the relationship can mend and grow after that."

Penny nodded, already considering who to talk to and what to say. She also made a list of things she needed to do with the new ship, and started a letter home. "Thanks, Cass," she said.

Cassandra smiled. "It was my pleasure." She kissed Penny's cheek and stood up, walking away.

Penny listened to her footsteps and turned to ask another question, but Cass was gone, a few wisps of swirling pink sand where she stood quickly disappearing in the beach.

"Bye, Cass," Penny said.

 

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