Nothing More Than

Posted on Sun Dec 19, 2021 @ 2:56pm by Lieutenant Penelope Naroot & Lieutenant JG Sydney Friedman Jr

578 words; about a 3 minute read

Mission: We Will Take Care of You
Location: Sydney's Office
Timeline: One Week after arriving at DQ8

Penny stared, and stared, and stared. She'd pretty much spent an eternity staring ahead at the counselor. She'd been completely preoccupied, her thoughts going in circles over her current situation. She quickly realized she'd been staring for an eternity and was amazed the counselor hadn't said something yet. She went through five thousand possible opening sentences, analyzed her complete emotional makeup and finally decided that she'd spent too much time staring off into space and--

"I'm sorry, this isn't working out," she said, standing up from Sydney's couch.

"What do you mean?" Sydney said. "You just sat down a few seconds ago."

"Oh....right...." Penny said, sitting back down. "Sorry, I just...am a bit nervous."

"I understand," Sydney said, sitting at the other end of the couch. "Why don't we start with what you're nervous about. Sometimes talking about what you're feeling can help you work through it."

"I'm just...not used to being around...." she paused. "Not a lot of people on this ship really know me. Like...really know me."

"You've served here a while now," Sydney said. "Surely you have friends on board."

"Yeah...I do..." Penny said. "Just...it's different. My friends on my last ship? They knew me like half my life. They knew everything about me. Here...not many do."

"Well, the obvious solution to that is to get to know more people," Sydney said. "Put yourself out there and open yourself up. True, that brings the risk of having your feelings hurt, but the reward is more trust and more openness between yourself and your crewmates." She paused a moment. "Of course, you know that, it's not exactly a trade secret. So the real question is, why don't you want to?"

"It's not that I don't want to," Penny said, "I just...get nervous about letting people in like that. Some of our shipmates can be a bit...intense."

"Perhaps," Sydney said. "But from what I've seen, you're rather intense yourself. Whereas...certain crew members are intensely focused, intensely passionate or intensely....well...just intense," she shrugged, "you are intensely joyous. You have an appetite for fun and a smile on your face that lights up like a warp core. So, if you're nervous about their intensity, match it with your own a bit. Not to keep them away, but to keep things in balance." She smiled at Penny. "Be the most 'you' that you have ever been. People will either learn to accept that, or they'll decide they aren't interested. Either way, you won't have to be nervous."

"Maybe," Penny said. "But how do I know how much me is me? Or enough me? Or too much me? Or the right me--"

"Hold on, hold on," Sydney said, holding up her hands and smiling.

"See?" Penny said. "That's what I mean. My friends would say, 'Beep, beep, Penny' when I start to go off on a tear! And if I start rambling on in some random stream of consciousness then I go from being just the 'quirky cute helmswoman' to a crazy person who--"

"Beep, beep, Penny," Sydney said, smiling.

Penny took a breath and sat back. "So, be more of that?" she said.

"That's nervous you. Be joyous you," Sydney said. "Learn to take joy in your work, in your friendships, and in your shipmates. That's what you do best, so do it."

Penny nodded. "All right," she said. "I'll give it a shot."

 

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