The Guardian of the Dead

Posted on Fri Feb 8, 2019 @ 10:23am by Lieutenant Cassandra Kennings & Lieutenant Arashi Tanaka Mr.

1,652 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Plaga Navis
Location: The Gardens
Timeline: 46 hours after Quarantine ended

Cassandra was kneeling in front of a small, deep, reflecting pond, sitting back on her heels, watching a lotus flower when she heard footsteps behind her. "Hello, Arashi," she said, gesturing next to her. "Join me, please."

Arashi had just arrived after getting a message from Cassandra to meet her on the Holodeck. "Hello." He said and sat down next to Cassandra. He was a bit of a mess, having had nightmares about what he had seen but he tried to never let it affect his work. He rubbed his eyes and sat down.

"I thought you could use some guidance," she said slowly. Her breathing was calm and measured, never varying from its rhythm as she focused on the flower.

"I suppose this is about what I had seen on the ship in our last mission?" Arashi asked rhetorically. "I am still having nightmares about it. All I can hear is the voices speaking to each other than all of a sudden they become corpses reaching out to me and then I wake up in a cold sweat..." Arashi shuddered at the thought of the nightmare. "I am not sure about what it means..." He said sighing. "I have not been able to sleep well. I mean I do rest after the nightmare but I wake up exhausted and so tired. Not sure what I should do about this."

"What do they say," Cassandra said, "When they speak to each other? Do you listen to them? Or just hear them?"

"I can hear bits and pieces of conversations. I see them talking in situations that would be normal for a ship's crew. Sometimes I hear them talk about the captain or relationships that they have with the other crew. But anytime I would move closer to hear what they were talking about, their mouths would move but I would hear nothing." Arashi said. "It got to a point I would hear nothing but see them still talking. I could not interact or speak with them myself at all. After a while things would start to get messed up and then all I saw were corpses reaching out toward me. I would wake up at that point in a cold sweat, not knowing the end of the nightmare." He sat and looked at the flower, seeking some sort of peace but not quite finding it.

"Their conversations are their own," Cassandra said. "If they don't wish you to hear them, don't try." She gave that a moment to sink in. "What do you mean things are 'messed up'? Why do they reach for you? How do they do it? Show me." She turned to look at him, fixing him with a calm gaze.

"When I say things are messed up, the scene changed from a normal scene to the one that I saw on the mission. Decay and death everywhere. I mean I thought that I was over this. When they reached for me it was as if they were grasping for me to ask for help." He demonstrated it to Cassandra. "It was almost as if they were pleading for me to help end their suffering." He wanted to know what it all meant but he honestly didn't know how to explain any of this but the way that he was doing it.

She grabbed his outstretched hand and pulled hard, yanking him with her into the pool. As they hit the water she rolled, forcing herself on top of him, her weight pulling him down below the surface where she wrapped her arms around him and held on with not inconsiderable strength.

He was a bit surprised as Cassandra dragged him under and he panicked a bit. He pulled his arms out and tried to swim up to the surface. He struggled as Cassandra's strength was a bit more than his. He kept swimming toward the surface and finally after a couple of long minutes he made it up to the surface.

Cassandra shot out of the water like a bullet, somersaulting and coming to land on her feet on the shore. She fixed him with a stare, sizing him up.

He gave Cassandra an incredulous look. "Okina aidea wa nanidesu ka? Anata wa watashi o korosou to shimashita ka? (What's the big idea? Were you trying to kill me?)" He said in Japanese, a bit out of breath. "What was that all about?"

Cassandra was wringing her hair out. "So....you do want to live. Good," she said. She threw her still damp locks behind her and walked up to him. "Rule 14: Never grab a drowning man. They aren't asking for your help, they're trying to use you for a buoy, but you cannot keep them afloat when they've already drowned. Your mind knows this and is warning you by showing you as they really are. You refuse to accept their deaths. You can't lie to yourself. A warrior is honest both in life and death, Arashi. Do not dishonor them by denying their deaths, unless you wish to join them."

Standing up and thinking about what had happened, he decided to say something. "I...I...guess you are right but it is hard. It isn't so much that I wanted to disrespect them. I know that but I was not ready to see what I saw. To tell the truth, I just wanted to be able to do something for them and I think that haunts me more than anything. I just could not let it go." Arashi said. "I wasn't able to do anything and it frustrated me, but I did not want to dishonor them and it was never my intention to do so. I guess that I wanted to do that so bad that I never saw that I wasn't always going to be able to save everyone or solve every problem. I guess that I wanted to be a superhero like in some of the old Earth movies."

"Superheroes are simply good people who do what they can with the gifts they have," Cassandra said, gently. "And superheroes come in all shapes and sizes, but sometimes, there are limitations even they have to accept, and they know they cannot save everyone. And, when they lose someone, they do the thing you refuse to do: mourn."

Arashi went silent for a moment. He was contemplating what happened to him. He started to sob, not feeling the need to stop for a few minutes. He wanted to finally let it go and he was doing that now. Even though he did not know them, he mourned them all the same.

Cassandra walked up and hugged him, holding him up, showing him the support he needed so he could relax his grip and let out his grief. She felt him shake as he sobbed and she gave him all the time he needed, knowing a lot was held in.

He wiped his tears, feeling better now that he did mourn and noticing that he did feel better so, he stepped back and looked at Cassandra. "Thanks for your help. I guess that I needed to realize that while I will be able to save some people, I won't be able to save them all. It is not going to be easy but I will be able to get through it." Arashi sat back down and then laid back. Cassandra was pretty good at her job and he knew why they had gave her the posting on the Victory. "You look nice...I mean I can see why they gave you the posting on the Victory. You are very good at your job even if some of your methods are...unorthodox."

Oh, God, I am so dead...she probably is going to hurt me or something for what I said. God, I sure put my foot in it! He thought to himself, blushing. He hoped that his change of subject wouldn't be noticed but he doubted that highly. He hoped for the best but prepared for the worst.

Cassandra smiled sweetly, and sat next to him, patting his hand. "You are a good man, Arashi. You have a good heart, and that is a gift. Make sure you keep using it to help others, but don't forget that you also need to take care of yourself, first and foremost."

Arashi nodded to Cassandra. He was glad not only because she didn't notice the slip of the tongue and the blushing but that she had helped him a lot to deal with the problem that he was having. Mourning the dead had started the road to recovery from the nightmares and while he didn't feel like he had a long ways to go, he was glad that he started. Sure, he was going to still be dealing with that. Even in the best of times that was something that he wasn't going to forget for a while but he was going to get through it, no matter what it took. "Thanks for your help Cassandra. I really appreciate you setting me straight." He said with a smile.

"This was a course correction," Cassandra said, taking his arm and steering him away from the pond. "Now that you're going back on duty, there will be potential for more. If you feel like you can't handle things, if you feel that you aren't handling your thoughts, and if I feel you're not working through this, we'll have another talk. If you need me, come find me day or night. I am always at your disposal."

She walked him to the doors back to the corridor. As he nodded and walked out, she waited for the doors to close, then let out a sneeze that almost knocked her back. She shook the water out of her hair and shivered, deciding a change into dry clothes was in order.

 

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