The 62nd Rule

Posted on Mon Feb 25, 2019 @ 11:36pm by Lieutenant Cassandra Kennings & Lieutenant JG Camille Lévesque PhD

1,313 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Plaga Navis
Location: Gardens
Timeline: Immediately after the pirate shift.

Camille came into the gardens and looked around. She loved this place, but regretted she hadn’t had much time to spend there in the weeks since she came aboard. There were still so many little things to look at, so many flowers to gaze at and smell, so many fascinating horticultural decisions that made the entire system work.

But she wasn’t here for botany today. She was looking for Cassandra. The computer said she was here, or had been a few minutes ago, but Camille didn’t want to call out in case she was busy. She looked to the Dwarf Rixx Apple Tree and looked for her in the clearing there.

"Hello, Camille," Cassandra said, walking up behind her. "Come to look around?"

“Ahh!” Camille shrieked, surprised by Cassandra behind her. Then she laughed at her own reaction. “Pardon. I’m easily startled. I’m actually looking for you. Do you have a moment?”

"Of course," Cass said, smiling. "Sorry for the scare. How about we sit?" She gestured down the walking path to a bench and led the way. As they sat down, she crossed her legs and clasped her hands around her knee. "What's on your mind?"

Camille sat next to her on the bench. She took her glasses off for a moment to rub either side of the bridge of her nose, and then put them back on. “I’m having some trouble...with some feelings. Feelings that don’t line up with how I’ve been living my life and agreements I’ve made. I’m hoping you can help me work them out.”

"I'd be happy to," Cassandra said. "Typically those kinds of feelings are brought about by specific events. Has anything happened to you recently? Is it your time on board? Or something at home?"

Camille took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “Sorry, I’m not used to sharing this sort of thing, but I need to. Since coming aboard, I’ve become...intimate with someone on the crew.”

"A very common thing," Cassandra assured her. "And what are the feelings about the situation that are causing the confusion?"

“When we started, we agreed it would be casual,” Camille explained. “We had a nice conversation. We agreed that we were just having fun.”

"And now it's more than fun?" Cassandra guessed.

Camille smiled. “Oui. She and I—I mean they and I—“ She was hoping to maintain the anonymity of her lover. She didn’t think it was anybody’s business but theirs. One slip of the tongue cut the number of possible combinations in half, and the good counselor could probably piece it together. Cat was out of the bag. “She and I have been spending more time together lately and we’ve been getting to know each other. We’ve been connecting.”

"And how do you feel about that, exactly?" Cass said, grinning ear to ear.

Camille’s smile matched Cassandra’s. “It feels really nice,” she said, “but also conflicting. We agreed on what this was. Am I being unfair by changing it? Is it her fault that I started to feel this way?” Her smile faded, and her eyes watered just a little bit. “And what if she doesn’t feel the same way? Or decides we shouldn’t play anymore because I changed the scope of the relationship?”

"I would say the last two concerns are significantly more important than the first two," Cassandra said. "Firstly, it's no one's 'fault' that you care about her. You feel the way you do because you do. Feelings are to be acknowledged, and assessed, not to be blamed. If the source of your attraction is because you genuinely appreciate her as a person, then there's no 'fault' to be had. And so far you haven't changed anything, so you aren't being unfair. She can't dictate everything between you; you have a say too. If your feelings are growing, then that is simply how the relationship is evolving. Which brings us to your other two points..." Cassandra hesitated. She couldn't come out and say what she really thought without violating Nicole's confidence, so she chose her words carefully. "There is no reward without risk," she said. "A reward the size you seek will carry some substantial risk, yes. However, if you are honest and forthright, you'll stand a much greater chance of success. Holding onto these feelings, denying them and hiding them from her will only hurt you both in the end."

She gave Camille a sympathetic smile and pulled her into a gentle embrace. "You are worthy of a partner who loves you. If this isn't her, then find out now. If things change, then they will change, but so long as it's from a place of honesty, it'll be healthy change."

Camille smiled again, a couple of tears now running down her cheek. “It was just...the other day. We were working in my lab, and it was getting late. We fell asleep waiting for an analysis to finish. I woke up and saw her with me, and just felt content.” She wasn’t sure she should continue. More details meant it was more likely that Cassandra would figure it out. Then again, surely the Counselor was bound by doctor/patient confidentiality. “We reported our findings to the Captain, but it was two in the morning. Captain Kennit looked grumpy to say the least. She intentionally put herself between the Captain and me, as if she felt the need to protect me. That night I realized that my feelings were changing. That I wanted it to be more than casual fun.”

"A noble gesture," Cass agreed. "And one that demonstrates affection. I would take that as a good sign, and acknowledge that moment when you talk to her."

Cass sat back and looked at Camille for a moment. "You are setting out to do one of the most terrifying things a human can do: fall in love. But don't forget that she may be as terrified as you are. She may be worried you don't feel the same way about her, and she may worry that you don't want to take on those things she needs protection from." She paused, holding herself back before she stepped too far. "Relationships are about partnerships. You'll both have baggage, doubts, worries, fears. The more you communicate, the easier you will get over those bumps in the road."

Camille nodded, lifting her glasses again to wipe her eyes. “Merci, Cassandra. Thank you for listening, and for your advice.” She smiled. “I like talking to you! My counselor on Jupiter Station was terrible. And I never did thank you for inviting me to the girls’ night. Entirely too much fun.” She grinned. And the start of this relationship with Nicole, she thought wistfully.

Cassandra grinned. "You're always welcome," she said. "And feel free to bring the lucky young lady as well." She winked and patted Camille's hand. "Above all, be honest. I'm sure she's going to be willing to at least hear you out. I doubt you'll scare her off just yet."

“I’ll be honest. And here’s hoping she’s not scared off.” Camille stood. “Before I go, can I give you a hug?”

"Of course," Cassandra said, standing up and holding her arms out, smiling.

Camille stepped in and wrapped her arms around Cassandra. Talking to her had been the right call. She was nervous about what Nicole might say, and wasn't sure when the best opportunity to say something would be, but she knew that, at some point, she would need to discuss her feelings. "Thank you for helping me work that out." She released Cassandra. "À bientôt!" Happier than she was when she arrived, she walked out of the garden and back to her quarters.

 

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